TWW is The Warped Woodturner who is a local artist living in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop 87). His mission is to use a wood lathe to make interesting but mostly useless objects from locally-sequestered carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but don't like that well. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well.

Monday, November 30, 2009

More good news for the rightwingers

The source above is the source for these quotes:
  • "SCIENTISTS at the University of East Anglia (UEA) have admitted throwing away much of the raw temperature data on which their predictions of global warming are based."
  • "The data were gathered from weather stations around the world and then adjusted to take account of variables in the way they were collected. " (note: or how the data fit the preconceived notions of the adjusters??)
  • "It means that other academics are not able to check basic calculations said to show a long-term rise in temperature over the past 150 years."
  • "The CRU (note: this the UEA’s Climatic Research Unit - editor) is the world’s leading centre for reconstructing past climate and temperatures. Climate change sceptics have long been keen to examine exactly how its data were compiled. That is now impossible."
  • "The lost material was used to build the databases that have been his life’s work, showing how the world has warmed by 0.8C over the past 157 years....Their findings are one of the main pieces of evidence used by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which says global warming is a threat to humanity."

    See blog post below written before TWW read the article above. Replication is one of the hallmarks of true science. The more TWW hears about this stuff the less it seems to be science and the more it sounds like politics and religious belief. And people say Bush and Cheney cherry-piked the intelligence...

Another pictureless rant

CCC is short for Cult of Climate Change. The term ‘cult’ has gotten a bad name because of the actions of the people like the Moonies but a cult is really a set of religious beliefs and practices. The CCCers are an apocalyptic cult where members think the end of history is near since the world has been corrupted by an evil force. The evil force of capitalism has changed the climate and the coming climate catastrophe will destroy the world. The judgement on the sinful will mean rising sea levels, hurricanes, drought and other weather-related catastrophes. The priests of the CCC are the climate modeler scientists. Their worship service is to run computers to project the future and create religious truths. Remember computers don’t lie. People need to repent according to the CCCers by giving up their cars and their energy-guzzling life styles. At least that applies to the developed countries.

Right now the CCCers have not taken control of the world but they are trying to create their theocracy. They force parents to watch the movie The Gospel According to Al or else their kids will get bad grades. They preach on TV about how the end is near and call their infidels climate deniers. They have gotten CCCers as editors of climate theology (formerly called scientific) journals so the blasphemy of the denier scientists cannot see the light of day lest it create more unbelievers who deny the TRUTH of climate change. Be ever vigilant. You do not know when the End will be.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

An advancement in Freeloading Theory

As you can see by the lack of storage space in the kitchen at GM Manor, it was another successful freeloading weekend as the amount of food stored rose even though there were guests.

Discussions on life enrichment strategies this past weekend got the wheels turning in TWW's head. He realized there are high maintenance guests and then there are guests like this weekend who are the kind you want to encourage to come up. (Just so we don't hurt any feelings the guest who stayed here several weeks ago also left with a net increase in food for us to consume and also some good beer so we had something for Mr. BANANA last night when he was here). Anyway freeloading theory needs to evolve and we think we have a new concept but need to find a good name for it. Back to the high maintenance guests. They are high maintenance but then what do you call the guests like we had the last weekend who are lower than low maintenance. Should we call them Negative Maintenance guests? Both low and negative do not sound like terms people would want to be called. We think we have the new term: The GM Leadership Circle. People who attain this stature are examples to all of the other people who come to GM who always bring something up and help but never quite do enough so TWW has nothing to do except watch. These are definitely negative maintenance guests since they give much more than they get. We will work on this concept more and get back to you.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

New kind of premium

When the company is bored and wants entertainment you need to entertain them. (After all they did bring a bunch of goodies). TWW is shown below cleaning out the masonry stove and starting a fire to entertain the guests.

(TWW seen in this photo carrying on the family tradition)

Friday, November 27, 2009

The RASAs visit

Once again the freeloading strategy has paid off with the RASAs coming up for a few days and bringing more than they consumed (right down to pouring their own at King Tuts Bar). And Mr. RASA even did his own dishes after frying a meal of walleye for Mrs. TWW. . Here is Mr. RASA basking in the glow of a job well done.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgivng thankfullness

Since it is Thanksgiving and everyone says you need to be thankful for something TWW wants the world to know he is thankful for the lack of sunshine since it means less danger of UV radaition.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The global warming hoax

World respected shortwave radio talk show personality Alex Jones now is revealing the truth:

Monday, November 23, 2009

In honor of our Leader

Originally, this bowl was meant to pay back someone who did TWW a favor at a wedding last summer by bringing his lost sport coat to where TWW was staying. But then TWW was inspired by one of our Leader's speeches while he was traveling overseas so TWW decided to do another Bowlbama in honor of our Leader's brilliant similies. Our Leader says the taxpayers are like a bottomless bowl of money for him to spend for the good of people who deserve it the most. This bottomless bowl is made of popple to show carbon sequestration at its finest.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

New life enrichment activity

Since all the liberals were talking about the race to the bottom (especially when talking about how much they hate Walmart), Mrs. TWW decided she wanted to race to the bottom. Her personal record is 37 seconds to date.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

TWW's lament

The AP assigned 11 reporters to fact-check Sarah Palin's book. Why don't they assign anyone to fact-check this blog? Well, wait a second. TWW just realized the AP did not fact-check Our LEADER's books so TWW is not alone.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Research study

TWW has decided to start a research project searching for correlates between tree structure and personality traits of the land owners. You must have heard how pets start acting like their owners and the same for wives since they are in the same subservient role as pets. TWW wondered if the same would be true for trees. This blog post contains his first attempt to collect data using a random sampling technique on his own land. The data follow. The next step is to look for personality traits connected to tree structure.

TWW slow to understand

According to NPR when talking about Walter Reed Army Hospital medical staff: "Both fellow students and faculty were deeply troubled by Hasan's behavior — which they variously called disconnected, aloof, paranoid, belligerent, and schizoid. The officials say he antagonized some students and faculty by espousing what they perceived to be extremist Islamic views. His supervisors at Walter Reed had even reprimanded him for telling at least one patient that "Islam can save your soul."

It took a while but TWW finally understands reality. If someone like Tim McVeigh blows up a building it is because he heard too much righwing propaganda and it effected his behavior. But if someone hears too much of the Koran and then does harm it is because they are crazy. The ideas in the Koran have nothing to do with it since they come from a religion of peace -- well at least peace once the infidels are all dead.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Preaching tolerance

Our LEADER in his speech after the tragedy down in Texas talked about twisted logic and religion so TWW decided to find more about the religion. Through the wonders of technology you can take a religious book and search it. Here is a link to do so.

TWW used this link and found the following quotes:

  • "They desire that you should disbelieve as they have disbelieved, so that you might be (all) alike; therefore take not from among them friends until they fly (their homes) in Allah's way; but if they turn back, then seize them and kill them wherever you find them,"
  • "He said: We will slay their sons and spare their women, and surely we are masters over them."
  • "And kill them wherever you find them, and drive them out from whence they drove you out, and persecution is severer than slaughter"
  • "Those who said of their brethren whilst they (themselves) held back: Had they obeyed us, they would not have been killed."
  • "then seize them and kill them wherever you find them; and against these We have a clear authority."
When you hear about the people who become Islamic terrorists you often hear about how they read the Koran all the time so they must have read the quotes above many times. Is this what our LEADER meant by "twisted logic"?

Today's rant

Tim McVeigh was a domestic terrorist who was in Iraq but did not suffer from post traumatic stress disorder but listened to talk radio which twisted his mind. The Texas army major was not a domestic terrorist since he had pre-post traumatic stress syndrome since he was stressed-out over deploying to kill fellow members of his religion. He also was totally unaffected by his contacts with a religious leader who praised his actions after the rampage. The preceeding summarizes what good liberals seem to think or can you call it thinking?

Friday, November 06, 2009

A double

Mrs. TWW has struck gold again. She has gotten another friend to come up and facilitate our freeloading.

We may have also discovered successful freeloading needs to use profiling. The excellent meal on Wednesday and the Tony's pizza on Thursday were all donated to our worthwhile cause by Norwegians. They don't call them 'dumb Norwegians' for nothing it seems (I can put this hear since Norwegians don't use the Internet except to search for sources of lewdfish). Part of Norske culture is to always pack food in the car or sleigh since you never know where you are going to end up and need some food to share.

TWW needs to get busy making premiums since he has had to hand out IOUs for the two most generous contributions to our cause.

And as always we thank the donors to our cause. And we invite your presents at Garbin Moraine whenever you can make it up here.

(note: the use of 'presents' is not original with TWW. He saw this on a wedding invitation printed for a fellow USAF enlisted guy who got married in Spain and had a Spanish printer do the invitations).

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Advanced freeloading

Mrs TWW has come up with one of the best freeloading techniques we have seen to date. She invited some of her friends at J & L Eating and Entertaining (JLEE is their brand name) to come over with a noon meal and serve it to her. And of course the meal was first-rate. For premiums Mrs' TWW gave her friends some old squash she had laying around in the wood room.

The owners of JLEE accepting congratulations on a job well done (technical note: praise is easy to hand out when you get something for free. For example eat extra pieces of dessert to show them how much you like the food. This easy to do since the dessert was great)

Always have containers available to graciously accept the free leftovers.

Mrs. TWW resting her feet under the dining room table.

In addition to a great meal JLEE also brought some entertainment with. Here you can see an example. Since Mrs. TWW was new to the game, one of the owners of JLEE helped her cheat so she could beat TWW.

The children praise our LEADER

Someone has collected songs from the little ones praising our LEADER and put them all in one place for the masses. See the link above and sing along.

Monday, November 02, 2009

article e-manuscript

Tree Cages and Shelters
Bruce Pankratz
NW Wisconsin
(1000 words or so)

(uneaten tree growing through the top of a tree shelter)

Somewhere along the line you have probably heard someone say "the best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago". You might think that means trees take a while to grow tall. Sometimes this is true but where we live it means 19 years ago you had to replant the tree because a deer ate the first one so 18 years ago you could plant a third tree to replace the second one a deer ate and on and on. Twenty years later you may have given up on the idea of ever growing that tree long ago unless you found a tree deer do not like to eat. That is where tree shelters and cages come in. Instead of building a fence around your entire woodlot you either put a small fence cage or plastic tube around each tree. Tree shelters work only on trees with leaves and not needles but cages work with either. You will usually need to buy the plastic tubes called tree shelters. You can make tree cages yourself with fencing.

Tree cages or tree shelters are meant to keep deer from eating the top of the tree. There have been oak trees on our land perhaps ten years old but only about three feet tall covered with nipped-off and dead branches. After pruning the trees and putting them in a tree shelter the trees took off since there was already a good root system in the ground. Some are now twenty five feet tall or more. And without tree shelters or cages we would not be eating apples from the crop this year.

(tree shelters protecting oak trees)

Tree cages and shelters differ in price with the tree shelters I have used being more expensive. Unlike the shelters deer can eat the branches as they grow through the sides of the cages but deer usually have left the top of the skyward-growing top of the tree alone for both shelters and cages. Once the top of the tree grows beyond the top of the shelter or cage you can set the tree free by removing the cage or shelter. You can then reuse the cage or tree shelter. After liberating the tree you can prune the bottom branches (don't take too many at first) and a few year later all of the messy bottom of the tree has disappeared as the tree grows wider. Losing the branches at the bottom of the tree is better than no tree at all.

(three foot shelter with oak stake)

Let's take a closer look at commercially available tree shelters first. A commercial tree shelters look like a piece of plastic stove pipe so they are easier to see than cages. The the wind pushes on the entire shelter so they must be anchored more firmly than cages. Shelters are sold with 1" oak stakes. Shelters create a warmer and moister climate so the tree inside can grow faster than in a tree cage. Irrigating the tree means pouring water down into the tube.

To install a shelter simply push it over the tree. With nibbled trees you may need to prune enough of the tree off so the shelter fits. Next, slip the stake through the plastic fastening strips on the tube that will hold the tube to the stake, pound in the stake and then pull the fasteners tight. Leave the tubes touching the ground in the summer, raise the shelters up in the fall to let the tree harden up for winter and and then lower the shelters down again to keep the mice out. Keeping mice out is something the tree cages cages cannot do.

Shelters come in different heights. The smaller the shelter the easier for a deer to nibble off the top of the tree and stunt its growth. For us the best height has proved to be 5 feet. We tried some three foot shelters but many were knocked over or gnawed by bears back in the woods. We were able to reuse them a few years ago to protect small oak with better results but still think five feet is the minimum to be safe. Once the growing tree spread its branches too much after it successfully grows above the shelter, you cannot pull the shelter off and reuse it but if left on the tree, the shelters eventually decompose.

(five foot tree cage with 3 foot lath stakes)

Tree cages in contrast last a good long time and probably will have the bark grow around them if not removed in time. You can take the cages apart to get them off of trees if needed.

The best luck we've had with the tree cages we built ourselves was to start with a five foot roll of fencing costing about $41. We get about seventeen or eighteen cages from the 50 foot roll of fencing. For a cage with a diameter of about eleven inches cut a five foot by about 33" piece. The diameter of the shelter is roughly one third (Pi to be exact from geometry) of the circumference of the cage. When you cut the fence be sure to leave wire for attaching the cage together after you roll the fence piece into a cylinder. Once you have the cage built all you need do is put it around a tree and pound some stakes to keep it steady. Three foot wood lath (costs about ten cents each) works to hold the cage. Thread the lath through the cage from the outside at the bottom, pound it in and then weave the top of the lath back through the fence. There is not as much wind pressure on fencing compared to tree shelters and also the tree itself helps hold the fence when the branches grow out.

For people who have only a small number of trees to protect, cages or shelter may make sense but if you are trying to grow thousands of trees for income the idea of shelters may not. In any event you may only know if you made the right decision twenty years from now.

(white pine success story)

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