The Warped Woodturner (TWW) is a local artist traveling his artist's journey in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop. 536). TWW's creative calling is to use a wood lathe to make useless objects from locally-sequestered organic carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but do not like that much. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well. His marketing jingle is: “Bowls as simple as their creator”.

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Revised Norskalabash Bowl Laminated Insert (Text only)


Warning: If you have  too many years of college majoring in subjects that make one look down on  the uneducated   people who live in the country you will not enjoy reading this story.  It  may cause acute anxiety,  anger or anorexia.

The Norwegian Calabash Bowl Legend
As the tale goes last century there were two former Norwegian bachelor farmers named Ole Oleoson and Sven Tollerud living near Ormsby, Minnesota who got married and had wives who both wanted to go to Hawaii together one Winter. Being good Norwegian-descended husbands the guys relented and tried to make light of the situation saying they probably couldn't catch bullheads through the ice anyway.

While in Hawaii the wives dragged the guys to a souvenir shop. The guys soon tired of seeing things like signs saying “Hawaii you?” and other touristy slogans and wandered aimlessly in the store to see if they could find something that said “I'd rather be ice fishing”. After a while they came upon a display of native (well at least the sign said that) bowls called calabash bowls. The sign also said the wooden bowls were made from an erotic Pacific tree shaped to look like the top of a calabash gourd.

(image of a tree appears here)

Ole said to Sven “I'll bet I could make dose funny lookin wobbly bowls out of Norwegian vude on my vude lade and ve could sell dem to da tourists who visit Ormsby. Dey will buy anything”. So when they got back to Minnesota Ole started turning out calabash bowls from trees like those found in Norway like birch, aspen and maple (with a little oak and aspen thrown in to catch the rich tourists). The rest is history.

The Warped Woodturner continues this tradition with his Wisconsin version of Norwegian calabash bowls made especially for the tourists since he knows they will buy anything grown or made in Wisconsin. He also rebranded the Norwegian calabash bowls as Norskalabash bowls to increase market share for the Millennials since they will buy or vote for anything that sequesters carbon. 

Product Warning: It is OK to put lefsa in these bowls but putting lutefisk in these bowls could spoil the finish.

The Artist
The Warped Woodturner (TWW) is a local artist traveling his artist's journey in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop. 536). TWW's creative calling is to use a wood lathe to make useless objects from locally-sequestered carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but do not like that much. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well. His marketing jingle is: “Bowls as simple as their creator”. Visit him at http://warpedwoodturner.blogspot.com/

Copyright notice: None (who in their right mind would want to copyright something like this?)

Sunday, November 04, 2018

Current version (less images) of Norwegian Calabash Bowl Legend
(November 4, 2018)

A laminated version is included with each Norskalabash bowl free of charge
Warning: If you have too many years of college majoring in subjects that make one look down on the uneducated
people who live in the country you will not enjoy reading this story. It may cause acute anxiety, anger or anorexia.

The Norwegian Calabash Bowl Legend

As the tale goes last century there were two former Norwegian bachelor farmers named Ole Oleoson and Sven Tollerud living near Ormsby, Minnesota who got married and had wives who both wanted to go to Hawaii together one Winter. Being good Norwegian-descended husbands the guys relented and tried to make light of the situation saying they probably couldn't catch bullheads through the ice anyway.

While in Hawaii the wives dragged the guys to a souvenir shop. The guys soon tired of seeing things like signs saying “Hawaii you?” and other touristy slogans and wandered aimlessly in the store to see if they could find something that said “I'd rather be ice fishing”. After a while they came upon a display of native (well at least the sign said that) bowls called calabash bowls. The sign also said the wooden bowls were made from an erotic Pacific tree shaped to look like the top of a calabash gourd.



Ole said to Sven “I'll bet I could make dose funny lookin wobbly bowls out of Norwegian vude on my vude lade and ve could sell dem to da tourists who visit Ormsby. Dey will buy anything”. So when they got back to Minnesota Ole started turning out calabash bowls from trees like those found in Norway like birch, aspen and maple (with a little oak and aspen thrown in to catch the rich tourists). The rest is history.


The Warped Woodturner continues this tradition with his Wisconsin version of Norwegian calabash bowls made especially for the tourists since he knows they will buy anything grown or made in Wisconsin.


Product Warning: It is OK to put lefsa in these bowls but putting lutefisk in these bowls could spoil the finish.


The Artist
The Warped Woodturner (TWW) is a local artist traveling his artist's journey in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop. 536). TWW's creative calling is to use a wood lathe to make useless objects from locally-sequestered carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but do not like that much. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well. His marketing jingle is: “Bowls as simple as their creator”.
Copyright notice: None (who in their right mind would want to copyright something like this?)

Rebranding

The Norwegian calabash bowl product line has been discontinued due to lack of interest.  It has been replaced by the new, improved Norskalabash bowl line.  The first versions of the new product are coming off the production line in late November. Stay tuned.


Saturday, November 03, 2018

The Phoenix is arising from the ashes

Stay tuned



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