The Warped Woodturner (TWW) is a local artist traveling his artist's journey in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop. 536). TWW's creative calling is to use a wood lathe to make useless objects from locally-sequestered organic carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but do not like that much. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well. His marketing jingle is: “Bowls as simple as their creator”.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Life enrichment through warshing




More good news about the government running something

TWW did not get a census form yet so to be a good citizen by filling it out he looked on the Internet - the source of all truth -- to get a copy. He found a web site about how to get answers to census questions.



======from US Census web site=============


Questions You May Have

Have a question about the census form?

Getting the 2010 form

If you did not receive a form, call the Telephone Questionnaire Assistance center at 1-866-872-6868. (If you prefer a Spanish-speaking operator, then dial 1-866-928-2010.) The lines will be open from 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. (your local time) seven days a week from February 25, 2010 through July 30, 2010. For the hearing-impaired, TDD 1-866-783-2010 (during the times noted above).

=============================end of pasted material ==================================

TWW called the number above and got to talk to a machine that sort of understand English (was the machine from another country or was it hired to meet an affirmative action goal??). Anyway, when TWW tried to tell the machine he needed a form, the machine said he had to give the machine a Census ID number found on the forms that had already been sent. Since TWW does not have any forms at all where he can find the Census ID number needed to order the form where he can find the Census ID Number on......he decided he just won't be counted this year. That is the beauty of living in the middle of no where. They cannot find you.




Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Quote for the Day -- Did he keep his promise??

snippet taken from Washington Post website:


Obama Says He Can Unite U.S. 'More Effectively' Than Clinton

By Dan Balz
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, August 15, 2007

MANCHESTER, N.H., Aug. 14 -- Drawing a sharp contrast with Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, his main rival for the Democratic presidential nomination, Sen. Barack Obama said in an interview that he has the capacity she may lack to unify the country and move it out of what he called "ideological gridlock."


Thought for the day

Our Leader has done something even Hillary Clinton (who may well win the 2012 election) could not do. He has given the people what they have said they always wanted: health care reform. Why are the people so dumb that he now has to waste his time going around the country selling the people on what they wanted in the first place when there so many things he could do for the people -- especially the people who are not citizens yet who can vote against Hillary.

Monday, March 22, 2010

TWW Rants Again

Working draft of next crackpot letter to the editor:

Now comes the hard part: saving money. Healthcare reform means cuts in Medicare payments. One approach, what Simple Sarah Palin calls 'death panels', means government counseling people not to accept treatment they are entitled to. A Colorado governor once said it best: "We've got a duty to die and get out of the way with all of our machines and artificial hearts and everything else like that and let the other society, our kids, build a reasonable life."

We don't need death panels. Instead we need a living lottery. In 1969 Americn held its first living lottery. That lottery decided who could live and who had a better chance of dying by being sent to Vietnam. In the future we need a national living lottery for people on Medicare to decide who gets all the expensive treatment in their last six months of life. It's as simple as that. Of course members of Congress need to be exempted from the living lottery or the current Congress will never vote to approve the reform but people in Congress are a minute drop in the bucket of Medicare costs.

People who win the living lottery, say 10% of Medicare recipients, would be eligible for all the macho methods of modern medicine. The losers would be eligible for a more dignified demise with Medicare paying for hospice care. The current healthcare reform bill amazingly even cuts hospice payments. A lottery is a much fairer way to make this healthcare reform bill actually work.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Life enrichment by growing legal drugs at home

Since the broken lathe is causing TWW withdrawal pangs he has decided to grow his own drugs (sedatives). Below are some good sources if you want to grow your own too and be mellow.

sources:

Thursday, March 18, 2010

No carbon sequestration activity until end of March

(that is when Sears fixes the lathe). As part of TWW's attempts to educate the masses on the dangers of Goral warming, he is passing along an article from the Guardian. It turns out buying green does not create virtuous behavior in people. The article was unnecessary since we already know people who have liberals values don't give much to charity since they think other people should pay higher taxes so the government can give to the poor -- in other words do as a say not as I do.

quote from article: Do Green Products Make Us Better People is published in the latest edition of the journal Psychological Science. Its authors, Canadian psychologists Nina Mazar and Chen-Bo Zhong, argue that people who wear what they call the "halo of green consumerism" are less likely to be kind to others, and more likely to cheat and steal. "Virtuous acts can license subsequent asocial and unethical behaviours," they write


Monday, March 15, 2010

Is this for real??

Minnesota viewers:

Have any of you seen this billboard? It is on I-94 by Albertville supposedly or is it a fake?

see:http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=20379743 This link is the owner of the picture so hope he does not sue me. We are giving his site a free plug.

'sorry -- no picture for this post

For continued life enrichment and also furthering his understanding of Goral Warming, TWW bought a CD course in statistics. The professor, Michael Starbird of the University of Texas, said in the first lesson "A statisical fact: : On average, each American has one testicle and one ovary". TWW could not find a picture of the average American on the Web to include here.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

TWW attends beer seminar and makes discovery

TWW attended a beer making seminar on Saturday at the Hunt Hill Audubon Sanctuary. While he was there he realized he would be better off just buying good beer rather than try to make it. Therefore just like with the wooden bowls, TWW pledges to make second-rate beer and give it away.

The instructor for the class was from the Viking Brewing Company in Dallas (that is WI for you people in MN). This is a link to the brewery: link to brewery. .

This village is closer than Chippewa Falls (site of a future family beer tour) but only does tours on Saturdays and TWW suspects they don't gives lots away since they are a Ole and Lena operation. Before becoming a brewer the owner made atomic bombs. TWW will sample their beer in the next few weeks and report back.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Drive belt broke on the lathe

So TWW decided to TWWter his way through the woods in search of life enrichment and summer









Friday, March 12, 2010

Will this stuff ever end?

Here is another article showing how another of the IPCC (the Nobel prize winning organization that says the end of the world is near due to Goral Warming) is incorrect.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

More life enrichment by going to town

TWW had a meeting of his support group at the 'Prime' so went to town today. On the way he got a couple of pics of the stoned church per a request from HFEC and a picture of the bar in Earl after the sheriff's cars had all left.














It's believe it or not time

"The Obama administration will accept no more public input for a federal strategy that could prohibit U.S. citizens from fishing some of the nation's oceans, coastal areas, Great Lakes, and even inland waters." or so says ESPN. See: It's Our LEADER or Your Fishing Leaders

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

For life enrichment drive to town









Just think if a Republican had said this


DAN RATHER: Part of the undertow in the coming election is going to be President Obama's leadership. And the Republicans will make a case and a lot of independents will buy this argument. "Listen he just hasn't been, look at the health care bill. It was his number one priority. It took him forever to get it through and he had to compromise it to death." And a version of, "Listen he's a nice person, he's very articulate" this is what's been used against him, "but he couldn't sell watermelons if it, you gave him the state troopers to flag down the traffic." "

note: audio available here

Read more: http://newsbusters.org/blogs/geoffrey-dickens/2010/03/08/dan-rather-articulate-obama-couldnt-even-sell-watermelons#ixzz0hgGz6Px4

Monday, March 08, 2010

Scientists discover gigantic farting permafrost

Since nothing of note is happening at GM today and it is cloudy we have to get outside help with interesting material. see: http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2010/03/05-6
Next the scientists will be telling us we need to burn body gases to get rid of the methane.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Do as TWW says not as he does

TWW (aka The Warped Whizzer) was asked this weekend how to make a bowl and had trouble explaining without any props. Here is/are a video or two telling how to do it.






Feedback on this blog

  • "I congratulate, your idea is brilliant " - left as a comment to a post on Friday

  • "The blog is boring" - comment heard on Saturday night at a social gathering

  • "Are you the Warped Whizzer?" - a question asked of TWW on Friday night

  • "My computer quit working so I could not look at your blog even after they fixed it" -- told to TWW on Saturday night
"

Friday, March 05, 2010

off to study UHI


Gone for a few days to the city to study the urban heat island effect or however they say it. Next useless post due on Monday.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Is global warming caused by computer programmers?

"My point on Newsnight was that it appeared that the organization writing the code did not adhere to standards one might find in professional software engineering. The code had easily identified bugs, no visible test mechanism, was not apparently under version control and was poorly documented. It would not be surprising to find that other code written at the same organization was of similar quality. And given that I subsequently found a bug in the actual CRUTEM3 code only reinforces my opinion." quote from a computer expert on some climate scientist software.

It is possible this guy is criticizing some of TWW's work from the time before he retired but most likely not.

see: http://wattsupwiththat.com/2010/03/04/crutem3-code-did-not-adhere-to-standards-one-might-find-in-professional-software-engineering/#more-16953

Maybe one could say global warming is caused by climate scientists trying to be computer programmers who have too much CO2 inside their alimentary canals.

Cheese y Cervesa Recommendations

Why Cheese and Beer is the title of a recent article in the newsletter put out by Leinenkuegels. In the article John Leinenuegel listed the following combinations of beer and Leinies.
  • Honey Weiss with brie
  • Classic Amber and Leinies Red with aged cheddar
  • Cremy Dark and 1888 Bock with hard and blue cheese
TWW recommends:
  • Michelob Light with moldy or rotten cheese



Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Nothing interesting happening here

To read about the latest debunking of one of the myths of the Anthropogenic Global Warming religion see this link: http://wattsupwiththat.com/

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

More advice needed -- plumbers's walls?

TWW asked Q & D Construction for some advice on how to fix a crack in the wall resulting from not keeping the house moist enough. One of their consultants, GAGA, said to take a stick and push the wood together. But that created a new problem. How do you hide the stick used to hide the crack? Please leave a comment if you know a solution but please do not leave any ads for illicit products.

Yellow Snow for Dessert?

TWW and Mrs. TWW were over at DO and DO's on Sunday for a Yellow Dinner in honor of the closing of the olympics. Mr. DO (aka Bubba from Iowa) helped by taking pictures of the event. Below are some highlights. Due to the threat of degonadization by an anonymous source Mrs. TWW's images have been removed and some captions censored from the original.


Even the picture is yellow for the yellow dinner. (note: as seen through the eye of a fish to prevent degonadization).



First course for the yellow dinner.


Part of the main course yellow dinner


Unknown chef at the yellow dinner (note the BAM! BAM! Thank You Mam yellow apron)


Yellow dinner guest.

Yellow dinner guest (picture of spouse deleted to prevent you know what)


Lemon chicken, yellow jello and yellow beans, peppers and onions.

The guest all enjoyed yellow snow drinks after dinner. For more information see this previous post: http://warpedwoodturner.blogspot.com/2010/02/new-method-to-prevent-global-warming.html

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