film just back from the store

TWW goes out trick or treating. It was amazing how much candy they forked over when they saw him with a chain saw in his hand. Expand the picture for more detail.

The Eat More - Breathe Less Method

TWW recently learned of the Eat More - Breathe Less Method (EMBLM) of saving the planet. Unlike other plans promoted by the liberal elite such as Clinton and Edwards, this plan is pushed by someone who practices what he preaches by becoming a personal carbon sink (PCS).

The Eat More - Breathe Less Method (affectionately called 'embalm' in elite circles) lets people think globally while acting locally as they become PCSs by eating more and exercising less. This means a net storage of carbon instead of exhaling carbon into the air while exercising. EMBLM insures CO2 will not escape into the air of our fragile planet by insuring the PCSs are buried in a sealed casket. This is the same process as the planet used to store carbon in petroleum and coal for billions of years until western capitalism reversed the process to make obscene profits. The EMBLM method also helps with population control (hence will save Social Security) since it will drop life expectancies so people will not be around as long to pollute the planet. For more help with becoming a personal carbon sink visit: http://www.algore.org/

Feral car found on Garbin Moraine

We have to thank Mike Perry, author of Truck: A Love Story for this tip. In his book he writes "feral refrigerators and washing machines are generally found clustered at the bottom of eroded gullies, or at the terminus of dead-end roads and abandoned driveways". We had no idea we had a feral car on our land and what dangers they pose.

For a picture of this menacing problem see: http://warpedwoodturner.blogspot.com/2006/02/old-car-with-tree-growing-through-it.html

Garbin Moraine cuts it CO2 footprint in half

To help limit our CO2 footprint we got rid of our 500 gallon LP tank today. Instead, we now have a green 250 gallon tank. This new tank has a footprint about one half the size of our previous tank which helps our carbon footprint immensely.

QSL Cards in the Time of the Internet

Ham radio or people who have shortwave listening as a hobby (not too many of them any more), collect QSL cards. These cards are what hams send each other confirming they were in contact. Shortwave radio stations send them for reports on how well the station comes in. With the Internet, QSLing in on its way to becoming a thing of the past. But now people with blogs have Google Analytics. They have a map of all the states where someone looks at a blog. TWW's blog has some states already but is looking for ways to get people from every state in the nation to look at his blog so the Google Analytics map of the US has all the states green (that means someone in the state has had the misfortune to look at TWW's blog). All ideas are welcome. (except becoming a porn blog).

Less cutting for a while

Note to loyal viewers (all 3 of you)

TWW just spent the weekend in the BIG CITY. There is nothing like going to the BIG CITY to enhance your understanding of the meaning of life. Driving on the Interstates with the cars whizzing by helps one know how finite one's own life is and how it may all end soon if someone messes up. It is sort of like walking in the woods during the deer gun season wearing camouflage and wondering if the people in red are operating while under the influence of something. Anyway, TWW has not forgotten you and will be working to catch up. Mrs TWW has company coming so TWW will work as permitted. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you.

PETA supporters get the blame for this one

People for the Ethical Treatment of Ants (PETA) are the cause of a recent power problem on Garbin Moraine. There is a transformer outside dropping the power from the pole down to 110 volts. It was designed to work above ground. When TWW called the power coop to report flashing lights they sent out a crew to investigate. They struggled to get the transformer cover off. Once they got it off they found about two gallons of sand inside the box. The lineperson said it was the work of ants. Perhaps it was a protest against something. The moist sand had caused corrosion on the connectors.

Waiting for El Trucko

City people are more artsy-craftsy than the people on Garbin Moraine. They go to theaters and watch plays like Waiting for Godot. In the country we order stuff online and then wait for El Trucko. There are two incarnations of El Trucko. One is Santaups and the other is Santafed. To amuse ourselves we watch the stuff cross the country on the computer while the trucks carrying it cloud the atmosphere with CO2 but since we are not driving the car to town to buy stuff we get carbon credits for not emitting CO2. Our latest order is now sitting next to Lake Superior so it is getting closer. For now we just wait.

Life enrichment ?

In July TWW answered the Countryside magazine question of the month. Below is the answer. Your task is to figure out what the question was. The text below is what was sent to Countryside using a fake name instead of TWW and appears in the current issue. Creating this post was a test of the Google document feature and it appears the feature works.

Moving to the country means lots of decisions. You have needs to meet, make some assumptions about the world, have some values or criteria to judge options against and then stir all this into decisions. Our failures though small in moving to the country came from places where we were ignorant of our needs, assumptions or values. Decisions on how to use your resources of time and money to meet needs decides success or failure in moving to the country. Below is what we learned along the way.

Since full disclosure is in style I should mention we fit into the category of pensioner used in the book New Pioneers by Jeffrey Jacob. In his study based on a survey of Countryside readers about 18% of people living in the country were pensioners living on retirement income. While we are not 100 % pure homesteaders some of what you find below could still apply to your situation.

It’s best to learn how you meet your needs with your time and money while still in the city. To know where your time goes you need to record how you spend it.

Another part of time management is to make lists of what needs doing. Some things you do completely yourself but often you need supplies.

Keep track of how and where you meet your needs for supplies or services. Many of the needs will move to the country with you. Next is one way of you can begin compiling a list of needs.

Take a big piece of paper and draw a circle in the middle labeled ‘my homestead’. Next start listing everything you can remember that goes into your homestead (energy, food, water, etc). Put arrows on the items pointing into the circle. Also list everything you can remember coming out of the circle (wastes, etc) with arrows pointing out. In the country you will need to account for most of what goes in and out of your city homestead. This process helps identify needs you have.

People often assume their needs will be magically met by buying things until they get an unwelcome surprise. We got the latest edition of Countryside a few days after a bridge I had assumed safe to drive on numerous times before moving to the country from Minneapolis surprised people in an unfortunate way. Moving to the country has surprises when your assumptions don’t hold true.

To know where your money goes you also need to record how you use it. The starting point is to read Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominquez and Vicki Robin.

Finally, although this is not a pop psychology magazine, when you move to the country your mind comes with whether you like it or not. To better understand how your mind works, start doing morning pages. Julia Cameron in the Artist’s Way suggests people take three blank pages of paper and write longhand to dump their minds on paper when they get up in the morning. Doing that for a while will help you decide what you really want.

After you make the big move to the country keep recording how you spend your money. It is easy to lose control when you do something like build a house and buy items you end up not really needing.

Your list of items to do will be long after moving . Here is one simple thing to help keep you sane. Pay attention to your accomplishments. Get a diary book and record how you spend your time. I don’t mean recording how many seconds something takes. Rather, when you cross something off a list of tasks to complete write it in the diary book. The value of this is you then see how much you have accomplished rather than focusing on a nagging list of incomplete tasks.

Finally, here are a few things we learned the hard way because we assumed wrong:

1)The wind may blow differently than you expected. We had a garage and a privy on the land (Countryside Vol 80 #5) for about eight years but learned after we built a house on the land the wind came from the east and the south during the winter more than we ever thought possible and cooled the house. We planted most of the trees on the north side of the property. We had assumed wrong.

2)Darling little animals were a bigger nuisance than we expected. Tree shelters and wire fence cages around trees have helped us keep trees going.

3)Services and goods not available on your land mean you drive. Use your lists of needs to learn where you will meet your needs for medical, pharmacy, hair, or financial services and also types of goods you buy regularly to locate businesses early. We unwittingly split ourselves between two cities and it means extra driving .

4)Deciding where to put a sidewalk or LP tank changes where people can drive a big truck . Though it has not mattered yet, we discovered we do not have a way for a well repair truck to reach the well without moving the LP tank and cutting down some trees. Fortunately, we realized we had decided wrong before we had a crisis on our hands and hopefully have time to fix things.

Deer is only a little horny

Global warming causes snow in November

Snow this early in our area is rare so it must be the work of global warming.

Silvaculture Day

Today was Silvaculture Day at the Shirleywood Forest on Garbin Moraine. It was time again to remove lower branches on the red pines so any fires caused by global warming would hopefully slow down before they got to the manor. The picture above is of the branches lined up to march down to the bonfire in the valley below the manor. (note to DNR: we won't actually burn the branches until there is enough snow on the ground so you don't need to send any enforcers over). TWW recently read in the local paper about the manager of a new wood pellet plant saying burning wood pellets is carbon neutral. This must mean while the smoke from burning pellets (or these branches) will put CO2 into the air, the CO2 would have gone into the air anyway as the trees the pellets came from (or these branches) rotted away. Either way CO2 goes into the air and warms the planet. This brings up a good question to ask your tree hugger friends: Since trees pollute as they decompose shouldn't we stop planting new trees and also work for ways to prevent living trees from reproducing and creating even more carbon to put into the air and warm the planet?

Rare horny deer seen on Garbin Moraine

The deer was observed at dusk. This is an enhanced picture. With a male: female ratio of 1:6 the does definitely get what is left over if they wait too long.

Cut, cut, cut

One cord done.

Nine to go.

New addition to the basement bedroom

After spending a romantic night in the basement bedroom at GM Manor guests will now be able to purchase a DVD keepsake of their night with the addition of a new feature for the bedroom.

October Viewer Stats

Thanks to an inside source at the Dept of Homeland Security we have been able to get viewing stats for October. Always remember 'they' are watching your every move. But don't let that bother you about viewing this site since there is nothing that would interest Bush on this blog.

October 2007 View Stats:

Wisconsin - 61
Minnesota - 45
North Carolina - 8
Mississippi - 7
Arizona - 6
Texas - 3
New York - 2
North Dakota - 2
California - 1 .
District of Columbia - 1
Tennessee - 1
Illinois - 1

Introduction - a walk in the woods

After a hard day of cutting, moving. splitting, moving and stacking wood it was time to exercise but the body was not willing so TWW took a walk around the area instead. Below are some pics. (note: this post does not have any pictures on it but rather refers to the posts made earlier on the same date which means they appear below this post. At least on TWW's browser all of the other posts and pics appear lumped together under the same date).

Death, taxes and firewood

When you live in the country on a fixed income and eat black beans you cut, cut, cut. Sometimes the result is firewood and sometimes something that is harder to get into the masonry stove to burn.

Beginning of the trail on Gabin Moraine

Walk down the turnaround and you are on Shirley's Way. Even in the woods you cannot escape the freeloaders who leech off of your good intentions. These are white eyed deer which is a new variety of deer found recently in the Garbin Moraine Wildlife Refuge.

I pollute therefore I am

The motto on the sign on the privy door must have inspired the deer. The deer are now into that consciousness stuff now too.

Visiting the neighbors

While TWW was reading a book by Candice Pert about the molecules of emotion, he read about a study claiming the more social interactions one has positively correlates with how long one lives. TWW decided it was time to visit his next door neighbors since he had not seen them for a while.

Coppice regeneration at its finest

Popple are a feminist's dream. They reproduce without males. They are a nighmare for the tree huggers since to get the popples to regenerate without males you need to clear cut so the sun can hit the new sprouts. These popple were clear cut in about 2003 after a windstorm and are thriving. The feminists have defeated the tree huggers. We are not sure what this means to the female tree huggers.

Previously burned wood good for the planet

Our wood dealer is now into global warming. He says if you use previously-burned firewood instead of fresh wood, the lessened carbon content is better for the environment. He said it is like buying a previously-owned Honda or Cadillac where you get a good car for less money. Working with the wood does get your clothes sooty, however, but it worth it if it helps save the planet.

The lake in fall

Archeological discovery

When TWW was mowing the valley with his brush mower he found an artifact from one of the early settlers. Our best guess is this was brought by one of the original settlers in the area who moved here after the Chicago fire in the late 1800s since they only play golf in civilized areas. The nearest golf course is at least 12 miles away from Garbin Moraine.

Trees are Missing

and so is much of the wood the crawler tractor knocked down. This will mean the grass will grow more now and need more cutting.

Mr BANANA plans for his outhouse

Mr. BANANA (see: http://warpedwoodturner.blogspot.com/2007/09/bananas-introduction.html)

asked TWW to mark a spot for the perc test for this new outdoor bathroom. He wanted it 40 feet from the stakes for his new house. TWW dutifully complied but wondered why Mr. BANANA would want to walk an extra 40 feet in the winter to get to nature.

Friends of Garbin Moraine Fall Pledge Drive

For the pledge drive this fall we have several new membership categories plus great imperfect premiums (see the picture from yesterday) . To pledge call 1-800-SUC-KERS or leave a comment on this blog with your name, billing address and credit card number. Due to budget constraints we do not have a secure site so be sure to check your credit card bill and credit reports regularly if you pay with a credit card since anyone in the world can see your information. (due to technical problems you may have to slide this table sideways to read it).


Fall 2007 Garbin Moraine Pledge Levels

Pledge Level	Donation	Premiums
Family	$30	Our sincere thanks
Friends	$50	Our regular thanks
King Tut's Cronies	$100	Five free drinks in the King Tut Bar (instead of having to bring your own)
Twisted Turners	$200	One free imperfect bowl
Moraine Matrons (a special class for women)	$500	One imperfect bowl, two free days stay at the Garbin Moraine Manor B &B (all food and drinks free)
Garbin Gigolo	$500	(call for details since this is a family site)
Garbin Moraine Special Friend	$1000	none (if you can afford this much you don't need any premiums)

Premiums for the upcoming pledge drive

Stay tuned. We have new membership categories this year. These are only a sample of the premiums for the drive this fall.

Blah

It has been so cloudy lately there has been nothing to take pictures of to put in this blog. 'sorry if you are using this blog to enrich your life. Perhaps you could apply for a government program to make yourself happy.

New life enrichment experience

You can order a college course on CD and listen to it out in the country to feel like you are more intellectual than bumpkin. Then if you have a blog you can pontificate on the blog about your intellectualism. Unlike a classroom where people might find what you say to be stupid if you have a blog like this one that nobody ever reads you can babble on to your heart's content and nobody will ever say you are stupid (note: 'hfec' is an exception to this rule but he is posting here because he knows nobody else reads these posts).

Cabin status - 95% done

Cabin Status

Cabin is covered with insulation.

Happy Halloween

The Wica witch of the West Wing? On the other hand flying brooms does not make a large carbon footprint so she may be leading by example which leaders are supposed to do.

More proof of global warming

For the last two years we have been in a drought caused by global warming. Recently we have been getting day after day of rain also caused by global warming. The poor lilacs are so confused about what to make of it all they have started blooming in October. Are these late 2007 flowers or early 2008 flowers?

A country welcome to new viewers

Philosopher's question: Why are you here? Please leave a comment and tell us why any normal person would visit this blog. Thank you. TWW

Recycling provides viewing opportunity

To help save the planet we ordered some recycled concrete for the driveway turnaround instead of some petroleum-based product. When the truck spread the recycled concrete (we had to finish spreading by hand) the stuff was brown but as it dried out it got concrete-colored. The recycled concrete provided viewing opportunities watching it dry out as well as exercise in spreading it with minimum carbon footprint.

Art?

Since wooden bowls exemplify traditional values and this picture trashes a wooden bowl it has to be art.

Update on global warming part 2

The update on global warming research seen below is missing information. This is because the blogging software controlled by the liberals at Google would not allow TWW to add any text to the pictures. Here is the text:

photo 1 - The Columbia Ice Field has an interpretive center where this photo was taken. The glacier was formed during the Wisconsin Ice Age. This occurred when the early people who lived in Wisconsin needed ice to cool their beer during the warm summers so somehow managed to start an ice age named in their honor. The techniques they used have been lost in history. We assume they lost control of their weather manipulation attempts and caused the ice age.

photo 2 - Two centuries ago the glacier was larger than today. The glacier actually grew and then receded after the Wisconsin Ice Age ended. We assume this was caused by variations in the moose population and their flatulence.

photo 3 - When the TWWs were married in 1982 the melting of the glacier speeded up for some unknown reason.

Update on our global warming research

Secret Mission Pictures

Due to the confidential nature of this mission we could not show TWW's entire face.

City of Banff

From our location we could watch the locals for suspicious activity as well as see mountains in all directions.

The locals appear to think if you call trees aspen instead of popple it makes them pretty instead of weed trees (which they are).

Sulphur Mountain

A cable car gets you there.



View from the top.

A chipmunk trying to freeload off the tourists.

Lake Moraine