TWW is The Warped Woodturner who is a local artist living in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop 87). His mission is to use a wood lathe to make interesting but mostly useless objects from locally-sequestered carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but don't like that well. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Lefsa making 2011

Mrs.  TWW wants to go to town and eat lewdfish on Sunday so TWW will facilitate. 

Monday, November 28, 2011

Deer had nothing to fear

Like an earlier camera report said: there are no deer left on Garbin Moraine.  They went south for the winter.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Friday, November 25, 2011

Occupy Springbrook in the works

Local Occupy Activists at Garbin Moraine are planning to occupy Springbrook to start the new year. If you are interested in becoming part of the planning committee please e-mail TWW. There will be Recall Walker and Recall Obama petitions available at the gathering as well as other educational activities. Currently plans are to break into the former Drew's bar and use it as a shelter rather than trying to pound tent stakes into the frozen ground (unless global warming keeps the ground from freezing). More details will be forthcoming.  If you want to contribute to the Occupy Springbrook movement please use the Donate button above. The only thing we ask if you want to participate is you don't do anything to embarrass Mrs. TWW. 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Bloody Black Friday coming


TWW predicts there will be blood flowing if Occupy people get between shoppers and their Friday good deals. It will be like getting between a mother bear and her cubs. 

Here is a full list of the stores to be occupied:

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Science proves TWW is not getting senile

"New research from University of Notre Dame Psychology ProfessorGabriel Radvansky suggests that passing through doorways is the cause of these memory lapses. "  see link for details

What would the media be saying if this was Newt and not BO?

Story 1: Top Blagojevich adviser Tony Rezko gets 10½ years

Story 2: 
While Rezko's wife paid the full asking price for the land, Obama paid $300,000 under the asking price for the house. The house sold for $1,650,000 and the price Rezko's wife paid for the land was $625,000. Obama denies there was anything unusual about the price disparity. He says the price on the house was dropped because it had been on the market for some time but that the price for the adjacent land remained high because there was another offer. 

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Garbin Moraine digs out from the second storm of the century of the year

Notice deer tracks.  Yesterday when he ran down not wearing blaze orange to get the mail TWW saw about
 11  deer. Mr. BANANA wearing blaze orange did not see any.  Moral of story is not to wear orange.  

Friday, November 18, 2011

Good news

The experts said we were going to have a severe winter but now we hear:
"Scientists were able to weigh their confidence of predictions of future climate disasters and heat waves were the most obvious. The report said it is "virtually certain" that heat waves are getting worse, longer and hotter, while cold spells are easing."

The latest form of child abuse ?

Even the children of the 1% now are targets :)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Life enrichment is 13 pounds of Jerusalem artichokes

fresh from the garden.  

Here is a recipe from Bone Appetite magazine:

The recipe calls for one pound so what to do with the rest?  Simple. Use them as premiums for people who donate to the upcoming Italian dinner.  Since postal regulations do not allow shipping of dangerous items. You will have to pick up your premiums at Garbin Moraine. Thanks for giving. 

Horny deer spotted in valley

Mrs TWW gets a gold star

from the dentist for being such a good girl. 

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Question for the day

Who said the following:  “we’re going to continue to see the kinds of turmoil that we saw in the markets today — or was it yesterday? I’m trying to figure out what time zone I’m in here.”

Possible answers:

a)Herman Cain
b)Barack Obama
c)Joe Paterno

find the answer here:

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Scouting for MR. BANANA

Spraying the stake with doe's urine from last year so it really stunk

There ain't no deer on Garbin Moraine year. 

Monday, November 14, 2011

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Last of the cheap premiums

To get one of the last of these cheap premiums use the donate button above. 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

First storm of the century for the season

Lie detectors at a distance??

Private investigator TJ Ward said presidential hopeful Herman Cain was not lying at a news conference on Tuesday in Phoenix.
Cain denied making any sexual actions towards Sharon Bialek and vowed to take a polygraph test if necessary to prove his innocence.
Cain has not taken a polygraph but Ward said he does have software that does something better."


TWW wonders if the software would have worked when the first black president said he never had sex with that woman. 

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Time to bring out the lie detectors

The link is to the nonsense of '08.

The link is to the nonsense of  '12.

Update: "Cain said that the first time he had seen accuser Sharon Bialek was during her press conference with attorney Gloria Allred yesterday, and that he didn't remember either her or her name. "  source:

Go to the 2nd link above and look at the photo. Was it Photoshopped? Nope. All blonds look alike. It is a different woman with Horny Herman.

Monday, November 07, 2011

Comment posted on this blog

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Posted by Anonymous to The Warped Woodturner at 3:59 PM

Cost Cutting Measures Impacts Premiums

Due to a lack of donations recently the Garbin Moraine board has ordered management to search for ways to cut costs.   The best idea management could come up with was to send out cheaper premiums. Sending out a cheaper premium as seen above cuts costs by 75%. If donors keep the stoppers in the bottles nobody will ever know the difference. 

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Lot down the road,-springbrok,-wi-_rb/

Honest telemarketers

It is hard to read but the caller ID says "PHONE SCAM". The next time they call TWW will answer and learn what they want since they are being honest. 

Friday, November 04, 2011

Tired of pizza on the way to the cabin?

If you want to see what is up in the establishment see their web site:

Thursday, November 03, 2011

The end is near

That is what the government is going to tell you but don't believe it.

"The test occurs at 1900 GMT* Wednesday, November 9, and may last over three minutes -- longer than the typical 30 seconds or one minute for most broadcast test messages"


* GMT (the time in England) of 1900 is 1900 - 600 or  1300 (1PM)  at Garbin Moraine.

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

New life enrichment activity for guests

Several city guest have requested they be allowed to carry in some firewood to get the feel of 'up north'.  TWW got a new wood cart to meet the demands. The wood cart can be rented for only $3.00 per load of wood the guests haul in. The money from the rental will be used to pay off the loan on the wood cart. 

To avoid more harassment complaints fix the trailer - part 1

After several relatives threatened to sue TWW since they almost fell through his cracks he finally relented and is replacing the rotten boards.

Christmas dolly

TWW asked Mrs. TWW to get him one of those blow-up dollies to put in the car so he could use the HOV lanes without getting a ticket. Mrs. TWW ordered him a dolly but it would only work with the trailer. Oh well it was the thought that counts. 

Diversity training to the rescue??

In a previous post TWW thought the only gesture Cain could have been making that was not overtly sexual but still made the women in question uncomfortable would have been to moon them.  That is still possible in one of the cases but the other one was about saying how tall his wife was. But the New York times says: "The National Restaurant Association gave $35,000 — a year’s salary — in severance pay to a female staff member in the late 1990s after an encounter with Herman Cain, its chief executive at the time, made her uncomfortable working there, three people with direct knowledge of the payment said on Tuesday."

Did the National Restaurant shirk its duty by not giving employees diversity training so they would know they did not need to be uncomfortable working for a black man? 

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Affirmative action rant #13

Cain, Palin, Thomas and Obama. Which ones got to where they are because they were selected (or not vetted very well) because of gender or race. Which one got to where he is with hard work? Which one would you want to be the head of an organization based on accomplishments? But then people who are big affirmative action fans don't care if someone is qualified or not if it means the first member of a protected class gets the job and they helped make that happen:) End of rant. 

ps. perhaps in an earlier post TWW was wrong when he said the only thing Cain could have done to match what he was accused of was to moon the women involved. 

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