The Warped Woodturner (TWW) is a local artist traveling his artist's journey in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop. 536). TWW's creative calling is to use a wood lathe to make useless objects from locally-sequestered organic carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but do not like that much. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well. His marketing jingle is: “Bowls as simple as their creator”.

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Production to begin soon

 The headstock for the lathe is currently sitting next to the bench the late is mounted on awaiting reinstallation to the lathe bed.  The sucker weights about 70 or more pounds and needs to be lifted up onto the lather bed in just the right fashion to attach. This may take a few hours to avoid any injuries to TWW or the headstock.  Once done production will resume with TWW  practicing proper social distancing (currently no other humans within one half mile) and wearing PPE. 

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Production currently stopped


 Headstock is up in Duluth getting fixed

Saturday, July 04, 2020

Monday, June 29, 2020

Successful test


Second test for Monday


Not sure if the sun is rising or setting on this research.🔺

Monday 8:10 AM test blog entry. It is supposed to go to TWw's and google group email

Nothing so far for changes made on Sunday. 


Sunday, June 28, 2020

TWW Enterprises Currently Cannot Fulfill Existing Orders


TWW has been asked to research out something for a group of friends. If you are looking for a bowl to give to someone you need to get a gift for but do not like that much without having to pay for it you have come to the right place. You will just need to be patient.

Ignore what is below and come back later. Thank you for your patience. 




Technical notes

  • Google group created and set to accept email from accounts not belonging to members
  • TWW Enterprises web site had a gadget added for following
  • TWW added fnbwa-test-group@googlegroups.com as a follower
  • TWW updated this blog and will see what gets emailed out from the notice sent to Google groups from this site.
  • result? 

Friday, March 20, 2020

novel way to limit the spread of the virus

TWW uses a respirator while working on the lathe that fits in his mouth and has tubes going to filters at the back of the neck.  The nose is open but tissue can be used to keep dust from going into the nostrils. A perfect solution for going to the store. It just looks a bit funny.

TWW management wants to thank Nelson Lumber (of Bass Lake) for reopening the supply channels so production can resume.

  

Two slabs to turn into bowl blanks

One slab in the garage awaiting being cut up.

Slab marked for cutting up. Plastic pail cover used as a marker.

Chain saw sitting on bowl blank after cutting it round
  
Bowl blank on lathe

Finished rough bowl awaiting drying for 3 months. 

Thursday, February 20, 2020

Yooper Calabash Bowls will be back in stock this summer

Special delivery of some yellow birch logs from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Enough for a few Yooper Calabash Bowls joining the oak and pine calabash bowls for the Norwegians and Swedes already in process. 



Supplies are limited so order soon. See Terms and Conditions above.  

Sunday, February 16, 2020

Final product production to begin in April

The store of rough bowls is growing. More on the way. We ordered more yellow birch from the UP and more pine will be on the way from up the road. Stay tuned.


Sunday, December 08, 2019

TWW Regrets to Inform You

After delivering the last bowls to the people who come in to help us and a nephew's wife TWW Enterprises regretfully announces we are out of inventory. While we have fulfilled all of the orders from last season we have a paucity of people who want to place orders but cannot since we are not accepting orders until we learn how much we will have for next year. The oak we are currently processing has a high failure (cracking) rate so we want to be sure we have inventory before we start taking any more orders. 

The oak mentioned above is for creating a series of pricey oak calabash bowls to sell to the rich Norwegian-American tourists from Edina,  MN who visit Hayward, WI. We need to get them to spend on our bowls before Elizabeth Warren makes it harder for them to be rich. Stay tuned.

Sunday, October 06, 2019

What the competition charges


If one of TWWs customers ever gets curious about what the competition charges here is a sample of something from the competition.  Is Norfolk Island Pine really that much better than Northwest Wisconsin Red Pine?? 





From the competitor's web site: "Norfolk Island Pine Calabash 
                                1 Bowl 11.5"d x 5.5"h
                                $250.00"
See for yourself: https://www.etsy.com/listing/705800836/norfolk-island-pine-calabash-1-bowl-115d?gpla=1&gao=1&&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_a-home_and_living-home_decor-baskets_and_bowls&utm_custom1=59c8e6c9-4d4b-4cbc-b5ea-d0e2402c22da&utm_content=bing_319895455_1309518497229981_81844932342591_pla-4585444526377732:pla-4585444526377732_c__705800836&msclkid=50ba354f249f1c6afc4568d5a54814b3



Thursday, October 03, 2019

Calabash bowl run now completed

Bowls awaiting customers to stop by and pick them up next week

Friday, July 12, 2019

Another unsatisfied customer

The proud but unsatisfied recipient of the brabowlini. Note the cover is in her lap.

Wednesday, July 03, 2019

The problem with organic bowls

One of TWW's relatives reported seeing a sign beside the road on the way up to the family compound saying "organic firewood".  This awakened TWW to the obvious: He has been selling organic bowls for nothing rather than cashing in on the organic product scam.  

The problem with drying out wet organic wood instead of wood raised on corporate tree farms is organic wood contains blue bacteria so when they grow in the right conditions the wood turns blue. Wrapping up pine bowls in newspaper and drying them out like woodturners do sometimes provides just the right conditions. 

The question then is how to con the con-able consumer into thinking the blue bowls when finished (shown below in rough state) have more value than boring-looking factory tree farm pine bowls. Calling them organic should do the trick with all respects to PT Barnum.


These bowls were dried for a month in paper bags but were too full of sap so the conditions were great for the bacteris.

Tuesday, July 02, 2019

Bowl blues


TWW cut down the pine tree later than he wanted to due to too much snow. That meant the tree had lots of sap so when he wrapped the bowls up to dry they were ripe for lots of blue bacteria to grow. Only the future knows what the results will be. Maybe they could be pawned off as camouflaged bowls.

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Labor shortage has closed TWW Enterprises for a few weeks

Production will begin in earnest when the pine calabash bowls have dried out in September. Until then there will be erratic outbursts of creative work depending on what junk is lying around but not until the firewood is stacked, lawn mower oil changed, van washed, and on and on.....

J/GD order almost ready to deliver

Most have passed TWW's low quality standards but one bowl is held together by SuperGlue on the bottom and future cracking cannot be ruled out. Generally they turned out. 

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