Taking the bowls on the road

TWW has not been able to update this blog for a few days since he was on the road researching his new book, ‘Sustainable Freeloading in Troubled Times’. He will be back on the road on Wednesday doing more research on the ‘Freeloading Off of Relatives’ chapter by taking a trip to Texas to visit some relatives there.
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The past weekend was a freeloading success story with the amount of beer and other presents acquired at a 60th birthday party far outstripping the cost of fuel. TWW learned a new leaching lesson this year when he claimed it was his 60th birthday when it was really his 59th. The hope is next year when he really turns 60 he will be able to dupe the relatives into another party and make a haul there too.
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One of the most important techniques in successful freeloading is being grateful to the people who help your cause. TWW is definitely thankful for the all the great beer (and other loot) he received. He promises to put the beer to good use in his Omentum Enhancement Program this spring.
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Here are some new working chapter titles for the new book: ‘freeloading for infants’,’freeloading for kids’, ‘freeloading for college students’, ‘freeloading for adult children’, ‘freeloading in middle age’, ‘freeloading for seniors’, ‘freeloading off of relatives’, ‘freeloading for the homeless’, ‘freeloading for rich white people’,’ freeloading for corporations’, ‘freeloading for nonprofits’ and as the final chapter ‘freeloading at your funeral’ . These are only working titles and may change based on future research. If you are interested in helping with the last chapter on freeloading at your funeral please contact TWW for an interview.
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So unless you hear about a plane crash of an aircraft called an ‘Embalmer’ which we are flying on Wednesday to Texas , do not worry about the absence of worthwhile information on this blog until next week. You never worried about the absence of worthwhile information on this blog before so no need to start now.

Thanks for the surprise birthday party

TWW and Mrs. TWW will be out of town for a few days to attend TWW's surprise birthday party in Rochester. TWW wants to thank his relatives ahead of time for the surprise party and promises to act surprised.

The Unvisceration of 10 Birch Bowls

In leading the simple life one has to find novel ways to amuse oneself. Here is a pile of solid birch half-done bowls with their bowels intact.

Here is the pile of bowls less their bowels.

Here is the gut pile. We hope this did not gross you out.

Success story

After only being in place for only two days the Daylight Savings Time program has gotten temperatures around Garbin Moraine back to normal. Lets hope the next regime in Washington does not disband the program and make it colder up here again next year.

Life enrichment via food

Thanks to the anonymous donor to our cause.

Weather report

We are sorry to again offend the people whose religion tells them the world is ending due to warming but it it cold out here and spring is only 12 days away. Hopefully Daylight Savings Time will help warm us up starting tomorrow.

New Definitions

Liberals are people who whine about how warm it is in March and want a government program to prevent warming.




Conservatives and libertarians complain about how cold it is outside in March and do something about it without government bureaucracy.


Notice capture of solar radiation by the masonry stove. At Garbin Moraine we strive for energy efficiency.

Hoping for change

We know all of our attempts to educate you on how global warming is impacting Garbin Moraine are leaving some of our 7 viewers out in the cold so we are shifting to talking about something new. Since hope and change are in the air we are hoping for the government to do something to enrich our lives. Our first hope is that the early shift to Daylight Savings Time will make us feel warm and fuzzy. The extra hour of sunlight the government promised us should start warming things up. (The government promised us it would). But for now we just shiver and hope.

More proof of global warming

A consensus of computer models predicts Garbin Moraine will run out of 2007/2008 burning year firewood on 04/01/2008. This means we have to use wood cut in 09/2007 and will incur a carbon debt as a result. Who ever dreamed it would be so cold this heating seeason since the earth is warming up.

Bowl Kits Being Test Marketed

TWW Enterprises is thinking of marketing do-it-yourself bowl kits. Customers often want to feel a part of the creative process and this gives them the chance to assemble a bowl and then put the finish of their choice on the bowl. Below is a sample bowl kit.



Here is the completed bowl awaiting the finish.


If you are interested in one of these kits leave a comment.

Spalted Red Pine Popcorn Bowl

This is a great bowl for freeloaders disguised as guests. If you find yourself with one of these (as mentioned in the article at the very start of this blog) you can plug in the gasoline generator outside their bedroom window and run it at night. But there are occasions when that idea won't fly so then this popcorn bowl is a good tool to use. You merely serve popcorn in the bowl to your guests and wait until they notice (you may have to help them notice) the little black flecks or stains on the popcorn. When they ask what it is from you tell them about how the bacteria and fungi grow in the wood and change the colors to create the beautiful colors in the bowl. When they realize they are eating bacteria and fungi there is a good chance they will decide it is time to go home.

Obama Meditation Instructions

Awaiting on You All by George Harrison
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You don't need no love in
You don't need no bed pan
You don't need a horoscope or a microscope
The see the mess that you're in
If you open up your heart
You will know what I mean
We've been polluted so long
Now here's a way for you to get clean
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By chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
Chanting the names of the lord and you'll be free
The lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see
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The Obama Meditation
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Introduction
In the past many people have wanted to learn how to meditate to ease the stresses of modern life but have had to pay for expensive lessons. But now millions of people are learning to meditate and many are even doing it during political speeches. It’s easy if you merely follow the directions below.

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Instructions
1. Find a quite place or wear room-quieting earphones
2. Wear loose comfortable clothes.
3. Sit quietly and try to only pay attention to your breathing.
4. Now start saying "OBAMA" out loud.
5. Then say "OBAMa". Then "OBAma", "Obama". "obama". Say the mantra over and over while lowering the volume until you are only chanting "obama" silently. Chant this mantra over and over again. If a stray thought like "McCain" or "Hillary" comes into your thoughts, no need to be alarmed. Ignore it and shift your attention back to "obama, obama, obama, obama".
6. After a few minutes of doing this waves of relaxation will begin to pass throughout your body as cares and body fat melt away.
7. Continue this for about 15 to 20 minutes.
8. This practice is best done in the morning when you first wake up and in the afternoon after work.
9. Doing this meditation will heal all of the damage you have done to your body during the last 7 years of frustration and turmoil. Health benefits will begin to appear within days of beginning this practice.
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Peace, love and Obama 08.

Morale of the story

He shot an arrow

into the air.

It fell to earth he knows not where.

Morale of story: Buying a pricey, yuppie toy cannot overcome incompetence on the part of the operator.

New Letters to the Bloggeditor

As part of a narcissistic delusion TWW has been sending letters to the editors of local papers thinking he was doing a public service. He has finally realized nobody ever read the letters so as a further service to humanity he is going to send the letters to the Bloggeditor of this blog for posting on the blog where nobody will read them either. The big difference is it will help save trees.

Letter to Bloggeditor

Bloggeditor:

There is a bright side to the current housing crisis you seldom hear about. A conservative president in the 1980s had the chance to reform Social Security but fortunately did try to do so. When Reagan signed a Social Security reform in the 80s he missed the chance to privatize social security. Instead of the stock market option in the failed Bush approach, Reagan could have changed Social Security so the money held in trust had gone into home loans. Just think if he had done so. Today the losses in home loans would be losses in the investment portfolio of the Social Security program. The media would be bonkers about the losses. Fortunately, the extra money from the raised social taxes at the time was put into Treasury bonds. The government spent the money instead of losing any of it from current crisis in the housing market.

TWW

More community service - part 1

Giving back to the community is a life enriching experience. The people at Garbin Moraine decided to help a student with a Future Freeloaders of America (FFA) project by giving him their previously-owned small freezer. He promises to store any beer he may acquire in it until he turns legal age. Here is the story in pictures.

More community service - part 2

With the freezer attached to the car, we also helped him with his next FFA project by shooting the video for his YouBoob feature video on how his parents should get him a new truck.

The BIG race

TWW volunteered to work at the BIG ski race today. Unfortunately, his camera quit working after he had taken only one picture so he could not get any compromising pics of former coworkers.

Minnesotans for Global Warming

Thanks to our Minnesota correspondent, HFEC, we have found a grassroots movement working against corporate control of the information people get. see http://www.m4gw.com:2005/m4gw/ Part of their home page is shown above.

They also have a great song on YouBoob at this link: <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJUFTm6cJXM>

ps. many thanks for the people at www.blogger.com for getting their spell checking function working again so TWW does not look like a country heck who cannot spell.

Life Enrichment Opportunity

Want to win a free trip to the Big Apple and $10,000 to boot? In addition, if you pass a lie detector test you win $90,000 more for a total of $100,000. All you have to do is make a YouBoob video claiming you had an affair with Hillary Clinton. WWW.WhiteHouse.com (a porn site turned political site) has already awarded a free trip to someone (see blog entry for February 18th) for his claims of an affair with Barrack Obama in 1999. The other prize for a Hillary affair is still unclaimed so if you always wanted to see the Big Apple and become famous get that video camera rolling. WWW.White.House.com is an equal opportunity employer so anyone can enter their contest. Please note: affairs with Bill Clinton are not eligible for this contest.