The Warped Woodturner (TWW) is a local artist traveling his artist's journey in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop. 536). TWW's creative calling is to use a wood lathe to make useless objects from locally-sequestered organic carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but do not like that much. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well. His marketing jingle is: “Bowls as simple as their creator”.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

More 'Net Normalcy Seen Floating Around the 'Net

Some people are proposing a 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution:

"Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States ."


Sound like everyone being equal in the eyes of the law.  It will guarantee pensions and healthcare for all and bankrupt us even quicker.  

Monday, August 30, 2010

The search for the geometric mean (normal) continues

Here is a great present for the man in your life. It will save room so you can put more of your stuff  in the bathroom: link here  


'sorry about no picture but TWW was not sure about copyrights. 

no wonder there is so little normal on this blog

normal is boring and this blog is already boring enough

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Redneck fire alarm




TWW got this from a relative who lives in flyover country. Thanks for supporting the cause! 

Virtual travel to help save the planet


Above is a screen image from the  Fedex package tracking system.  To play this game you go to the Fedex (or UPS)  tracking page and keep making up package numbers until you find one to track. Please do not order anything online to do this since it takes fossil fuels to get the package to you.  When you find a package to track look at the cities listed in the package and then use Google maps with street level pictures to see what the Fedex trucks see as the package travels while pollution pours from the trucks carrying it.  You can feel good to know you are seeing the world but you are not polluting it with CO2.  Here is a sample of what you might see: 

   

The picture above is of the now defunct Drew's Brewpub which used to serve Bouncing Butterfly beer.  

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The old way vs. the modern freeloading way

TWW did not know if his wish for kindling  (see this post from 2009) was going to be granted so he set about to cut his own kindling. This is doing things the old way. 


Next he split it up using fossil fuels turned into electricity.


Then set the results out to dry.


Fortunately a friend from the city whose identity will not be disclosed decided to help out by bringing up some kindling she found in her basement after reading the wishes on TWW's wish list. The TWW's thank the anonymous donor!



The boxes are filled with perfectly cut kindling.  The donor benefited since she now has more space at home and also knows she is supporting the cause.  TWW benefited since he has more kindling.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Question from a loyal viewer of this blog


TWW got a question this past weekend from a loyal viewer about why there was never anything normal on this blog. TWW was unable to come up with anything normal on this blog in past postings so decided to add some normalcy once in a while in the future . See the settings on the washer and drier below.  








A double freeloading success story

The TWWs want to thank some great city friends who brought up some goodies for Mrs. TWW's birthday lunch. 








The supper was from Don, Bob and Marv at the local VFW fish fry (delivered by BABA and NANA). Thanks to them also.  

Monday, August 16, 2010

Is the house of cards starting to fall?

http://wattsupwiththat.com/2010/08/14/breaking-new-paper-makes-a-hockey-sticky-wicket-of-mann-et-al-99/

The link is to a post on a paper done by real statisticians instead of paleoclimatologists  who had to take a statistical class or two while in school. They must have been bought off by BIG OIL.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Double contribution to the cause


GAGA of Q & D Delivery made a courtesy call a few days back.  While here he left TWW a nice utility knife since he learned on the first visit to move Mrs. TWW's NuStep, TWW had three utility knives, two of which did not work and one was over 50 years old. 

TWW thanks him for the contribution to the cause.  Also, TWW learned GAGA did not have to pay for the present and had gotten it for free.  This led TWW to add a freeloading principle to his list with no intention of giving proper attribution:

 Freeloading Principle # 11 -  The best premium to give away is one you have yourself gotten for free and do not need.  (you get rid of extra stuff and have someone owing you a favor). 

So thanks to GAGA for the double contribution. 

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Friday, August 13, 2010

More government intrusions on private lives

Another sleepless night coming up.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

TWW Admits Trespassing on Neighbor's Land













Tom was here




Another energy saving innovation




TWW was surfing the web and came across this energy saving idea. It has been so hot lately he thought he'd try it out. What you do is take all the frozen stuff out of the freezer and then cool down the inside of the freezer so the energy use is less. 

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

When life sends you lemons make lemonade

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/08/08/days-decide-activists-claim-tea-party-imposters-infiltrating-elections/

This link claims Democrats are having people run as Tea Party candidates (people who vote for them would be the ones who would have voted for the Republicans).

Floating around the web - some things never change



Railroad tracks.
The  US  standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.
  Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates designed the  US  railroads.
Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in  England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial  Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including  England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.
Since the chariots were made for Imperial  Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.

  
So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with this?' , you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.)
 Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in  Utah
 The
engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's asswasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything... and CURRENT Horses Asses in Washington are controlling everything else!

Monday, August 09, 2010

Evidence proving global warming missed


This thermometer read about 106 F when the TWWs got back home but TWW did not get a picture in time so the ignorant masses will still keep belieiving anthropogenic global warming is not real.

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