The Warped Woodturner (TWW) is a local artist traveling his artist's journey in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop. 536). TWW's creative calling is to use a wood lathe to make useless objects from locally-sequestered organic carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but do not like that much. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well. His marketing jingle is: “Bowls as simple as their creator”.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Power of Attorney sample for your use

"I (fill in your name and address) do hereby appoint Barack Obama, my attorney in fact, to act in my name, place, and stead in respect to the following matters: the vehicle I drive, the salary and bonuses I receive, the job I get, the education my children get, all medical matters, and all tax matters. This durable power of attorney shall extend through his entire term as president, and beyond: through the rest of his remaining years as a mortal walking the sod of planet Earth,"

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Visitors for life enrichment


TWW making a fashion statement as he greets visitors.



Garbin Moraine greeter greeting a guest



Shy visitor did not want his/her face on Internet since he/she is wanted by the authorities.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Scientific consensus = TRUTH ? - - - examples

  • From Wikipedia: " Several examples of new concepts gaining acceptance when supported by accumulating evidence are present in the relatively recent history of science. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientific_consensus).......
  1. the theory of continental drift proposed by Alfred Wegener and supported by Alexander Du Toit and Arthur Holmes but soundly rejected by most geologists until indisputable evidence and an acceptable mechanism was presented after 50 years of rejection.
  2. the theory of symbiogenesis presented by Lynn Margulis and initially rejected by biologists but now generally accepted.
  3. the theory of punctuated equilibria proposed by Stephen Jay Gould and Niles Eldredge which is still debated but becoming more accepted in evolutionary theory.
  4. the theory of prions -proteinaceous infectious particles causing transmissible spongiform encephalopathy diseases- proposed by Stanley B. Prusiner and at first rejected because pathogenicity was believed to depend on nucleic acids now widely accepted due to accumulating evidence.
  5. the theory of Helicobacter pylori as the cause of stomach ulcers. This theory was first postulated in 1982 by Barry Marshall and Robin Warren however it was widely rejected by the medical community believing that no bacterium could survive for long in the acidic environment of the stomach. Marshall demonstrated his findings by drinking a brew of the bacteria and consequently developing ulcers. In 2005, Warren and Marshall were awarded the Nobel Prize in Medicine for their work on H. pylori"


For life enlichment stimulate the Chinese economy

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Polar Bear Trying to Catch Global Warming Scientist and Eat Him for Lunch

"I'm hungry and you look like a good meal"

"mmm, mmmmmmm, good"




note: these pictures appear on: http://www.drroyspencer.com/


See this link for a paper about polar bear populations:http://scienceandpublicpolicy.org/images/stories/papers/reprint/taylor_polar_bears.pdf

Joke of the day

The government announced yesterday it does not plan on closing the Mexican border.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

A few notes from the north woods

TWW's piles are bigger than your piles?


Mrs. TWW is always happy when a friend or relative stops up to visit.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

TWW Commentary


Remember back when Bush's Attorney General John Aschcroft was upset about the nude statue at his department? Conservative prudes get upset about the silliest things. Now it is time to see the liberal prudes showing their moral outrage. When Wisconsin recently became an official open carry state for handguns, the sight or even the thought of the sighting of a handgun must have some liberal prudes screaming bloody murder. Ashcroft covered the statue at his department so the solution in Wisconsin is for the liberal prudes to ally themselves with the conservative prudes and support WI becoming a concealed carry state so offensive handguns are covered up too. If public health were truly an issue why are there at least 37 states in the country with right to carry laws but we seldom hear about scandals caused by permit holders? It is usually the people with concealed weapons but no permit we need to worry about. Out of sight and out of mind works for most people but the late management professor Peter Drucker once said something like "prudes need to be shocked twice a day".

Monday, April 20, 2009

The end is near?

  • Energy Secretary Steven Chu said Saturday... "global temperatures have already risen by 0.8 degree Centigrade, that another 1 degree increase was certain to occur and "there's a reasonable probability we can go above 4 degrees Centigrade to 5 and 6 more." - source: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/first100days/2009/04/19/energy-secretary-offers-dire-global-warming-prediction/

  • Dr. Roy Spencer says "There is no way to know if warming is ‘happening now’. Because natural climate fluctuations on a year-to-year basis are so large, we will only recognize warming (or cooling) several years down the road when it appears in the rearview mirror. The most important statistic to me is that global average temperatures stopped rising in 2001" - source: http://www.drroyspencer.com (Dr. Spencer is a Principal Research Scientist at the University of Alabama in Huntsville where he is part of a team working with the Advanced Microwave Scanning Radiometer flying on NASA’s Aqua satellite. In other words he studies the temperature of the planet.)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Visitors bring snow


Shirley's visitors brought rain and snow with them so the locals are thankful and hope they come back again this summer to prevent the drought from returning.This picture was taken using the sports function on the camera so you could see all the action as the snow falls.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Mrs. TWW goes Telemarking

Per usual when Mrs TWW travels she brings too much stuff. Here her friends have to repack the car to get it all in.




New language: Sir Latin

The usual rules for changing standard English into Sir Latin are as follows:
In words that begin with consonant sounds, the initial consonant or consonant cluster is moved to the end of the word, and "sir" is added, as in the following examples:
  • beast → east-b-sir
  • dough → ough-d-sir
  • happy → appy-h-sir
  • question → estion-qu-sir
  • star → ar-st-sir
  • three → ee-thr-sir
In words that begin with vowel sounds or silent consonants, the syllable "sir" is added to the end of the word. In some dialects, to aid in pronunciation, an extra vowel is added to the beginning of the suffix; for instance, eagle could yield eagle-a-sir, eagle-i-sir, or eagle-u-usir.
.
The value of Sir Latin is parents can use it to answer their kids when they don't want them to understand what is going on so will stop asking.
.
For example a young adult may say: "Can I have some money to get a new truck?"
.
The parent wants to say: "
Why do you need a new truck. Do you not know about global warming?". A smart parent would say: "Hy-w-sir o-d-sir ou-y-sir eed-n-sir a-sir ew-n-sir uck-tr-sir. O-d-sir ou-y-sir ot-n-sir ow-kn-sir bout-a-sir obal-gl-sir arming-w-sir" in Sir Latin. The end result would be the young adult would say "you are impossible" and stop bugging the parents.



Thursday, April 16, 2009

The new enemy of the state??

Read the story of how BO wants to make bitter country people enemies of the state of Obama:

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iY4U7grAdfoZTwVsntWagLqvr-vwD97J67100

Let's see now:
  • Animal rights extremists burn down laboratories
  • The Unibomber had Al Gore's book in his mountain hideout
  • Add your own examples here
These people voted for BO so they do not get put under the microscope?

Also, did you know BO is reading your mail just like George Bush did? see:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/16/us/16nsa.html?_r=1

The only silver lining in this cloud is they probably changed George Bush's password so he can't do it any more.

Disclaimer: You are not being forced to visit this blog. When you visit this site they know you are browsing the blog of a right-wing hatemonger who has arms (a left and right one).

Garage Sale on Saturday


As a 'thank you' for the people who are taking Mrs. TWW off the property for life enrichment experiences, TWW is having a special sale (100% off regular prices) Saturday morning. Here is a sneak preview.





There are two plumber's bowls in the sale. (Plumber's bowls are guaranteed to have a visible crack in case you are not a regular follower of this blog).

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Pilfering TWW's ideas??


Loyal readers (all 3.5 of them) will remember how TWW introduced readers to thinking about the Conway Twitty song It's Only Make Believe when they read the reports from their 401K plans. As you can see above TWW's idea has been pilfered without giving TWW credit or blame. Life is not fair.

If you have a handy 401K report handy see this link: http://warpedwoodturner.blogspot.com/2008/10/financial-statements.html

Wednesday is Tea Time

You know you are out in the sticks when it is at least 100 miles to the nearest tea party.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Turkey romance

TWW was too cheap to buy a better camera so you can't see the details.










Sunday, April 12, 2009

Contest winners announced

George never showed up to work today so we had to terminate his services. TWW decided since the lake was iceless at noon today to award the prize to the contestants with the closest guesses. RARA guessed April 15 and MAMA guessed April 10th. Since noon today was exactly in the middle of the two guesses the GM Foundation decided to divide the prize equally between the two winners. Congratulations! You can pick up your half of the prize the next time you stop by GM. Thanks to all the people who entered the contest. The charge for the entry fee will show up on your next monthly credit card statement as GM Foundation with the amount of $5.00. Again thank you for supporting the work of the Garbin Moraine Foundation.

A legal Easter greeting?


http://www.andynortnik.com/gif/easter_clipart_18.gif is where the clip art came from so we hope this is legal.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Ice Off Contest Update for Friday

There was still some ice on the southwest and west portions of the lake but not very much. There was a report of a big guy with a beard and glasses dumping ice into the lake earlier in the day and this may account for the ice we saw. We will have the contest judge check tomrrow if we can get him up here and sobered-up.

Life enrichment not

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Counter Progress for the BANANAs

The countdown for May 1st is beginning.








Wednesday, April 08, 2009

New Ice-off Judge Named


George Anderson has agreed to become the new Ice-off Contest judge. He is seen in this picture practicing looking for ice.

For life enrichment try Mrs. TWW's cookies

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Fashion statement for country bumpkins


At long last country people don't have to feel like hicks when they go to town. The Stormy Kromer folks have come up with fashionable hats for hicks. To get yours see: http://www.stormykromer.com/index.php?_a=viewProd&productId=3

Monday, April 06, 2009

Global warming quote of the day


"Obviously, the feedbacks operating in the real climate system is the most important question in global warming research. But, unfortunately, there is relatively little research going on in this area. Everyone is too busy playing with computerized climate models." - Roy Spencer in his blog: http://www.drroyspencer.com/

photo e-borrowed from: http://www.drroyspencer.com/library/pics/book-climate-confusion.jpg

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Ice-off contest reopened


Due to some cooling of the planet in addition to a sit-down strike of contest participants we have decided to reopen the Ice-Off contest again. Besides that we learned there is again ice on the lake. We think it came back during the night of April 1st.



We also are down to two finalists for the new contest judge. To keep the Garbin Moraine Office of Diversity and Fairness happy, we think the applicant on the left will be the new judge. Stay tuned. The ice will be gone soon as the planet warms and we think it will be hotter this summer than all year. The first job of the new judge will be to disqualify Mrs. TWW for unsportsman-like conduct.


Saturday, April 04, 2009

No entry today

2 of the 3.5 people who ever look at this blog are up here today and cannot access the Internet.

Friday, April 03, 2009

Another testament to the success of the NRA's tactics

Quote from OPEC spokesman in Reuters: "Oil is not responsible," the producer group's Secretary General, Abdullah al-Badri, told reporters on Thursday on the sidelines of the International Oil Summit in Paris. "It is the industrialized countries which are making all this pollution in the world." In other words oil (guns) doesn't cause global warming (kill people) people do, so we should not make oil illegal. If we make oil illegal only polluters will have oil (the rich liberals in their limousines).

source of quote: http://www.reuters.com/article/environmentNews/idUSTRE5313OX20090402?feedType=RSS&feedName=environmentNews&rpc=22&sp=true

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Ice off the lake

The blizzard went north of here and we only got rain which finished melting the lake. This means the contest closed yesterday and the closest entry appears to be Mrs. TWW's who chose the day after the contest closed. This result is unoffficial since we have not yet hired another contest judge. We are not awarding the prize until we have official results.

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