TWW is The Warped Woodturner who is a local artist living in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop 87). His mission is to use a wood lathe to make interesting but mostly useless objects from locally-sequestered carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but don't like that well. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

New addition to the basement bedroom

After spending a romantic night in the basement bedroom at GM Manor guests will now be able to purchase a DVD keepsake of their night with the addition of a new feature for the bedroom.

October Viewer Stats

Thanks to an inside source at the Dept of Homeland Security we have been able to get viewing stats for October. Always remember 'they' are watching your every move. But don't let that bother you about viewing this site since there is nothing that would interest Bush on this blog.

October 2007 View Stats:

Wisconsin - 61
Minnesota - 45
North Carolina - 8
Mississippi - 7
Arizona - 6
Texas - 3
New York - 2
North Dakota - 2
California - 1 .
District of Columbia - 1
Tennessee - 1
Illinois - 1

Monday, October 29, 2007

Introduction - a walk in the woods

After a hard day of cutting, moving. splitting, moving and stacking wood it was time to exercise but the body was not willing so TWW took a walk around the area instead. Below are some pics. (note: this post does not have any pictures on it but rather refers to the posts made earlier on the same date which means they appear below this post. At least on TWW's browser all of the other posts and pics appear lumped together under the same date).

Death, taxes and firewood

When you live in the country on a fixed income and eat black beans you cut, cut, cut. Sometimes the result is firewood and sometimes something that is harder to get into the masonry stove to burn.

Beginning of the trail on Gabin Moraine

Walk down the turnaround and you are on Shirley's Way. Even in the woods you cannot escape the freeloaders who leech off of your good intentions. These are white eyed deer which is a new variety of deer found recently in the Garbin Moraine Wildlife Refuge.

I pollute therefore I am

The motto on the sign on the privy door must have inspired the deer. The deer are now into that consciousness stuff now too.

Visiting the neighbors

While TWW was reading a book by Candice Pert about the molecules of emotion, he read about a study claiming the more social interactions one has positively correlates with how long one lives. TWW decided it was time to visit his next door neighbors since he had not seen them for a while.

Coppice regeneration at its finest

Popple are a feminist's dream. They reproduce without males. They are a nighmare for the tree huggers since to get the popples to regenerate without males you need to clear cut so the sun can hit the new sprouts. These popple were clear cut in about 2003 after a windstorm and are thriving. The feminists have defeated the tree huggers. We are not sure what this means to the female tree huggers.

Previously burned wood good for the planet

Our wood dealer is now into global warming. He says if you use previously-burned firewood instead of fresh wood, the lessened carbon content is better for the environment. He said it is like buying a previously-owned Honda or Cadillac where you get a good car for less money. Working with the wood does get your clothes sooty, however, but it worth it if it helps save the planet.

The lake in fall

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Archeological discovery

When TWW was mowing the valley with his brush mower he found an artifact from one of the early settlers. Our best guess is this was brought by one of the original settlers in the area who moved here after the Chicago fire in the late 1800s since they only play golf in civilized areas. The nearest golf course is at least 12 miles away from Garbin Moraine.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Trees are Missing

and so is much of the wood the crawler tractor knocked down. This will mean the grass will grow more now and need more cutting.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Mr BANANA plans for his outhouse

asked TWW to mark a spot for the perc test for this new outdoor bathroom. He wanted it 40 feet from the stakes for his new house. TWW dutifully complied but wondered why Mr. BANANA would want to walk an extra 40 feet in the winter to get to nature.

Friends of Garbin Moraine Fall Pledge Drive

For the pledge drive this fall we have several new membership categories plus great imperfect premiums (see the picture from yesterday) . To pledge call 1-800-SUC-KERS or leave a comment on this blog with your name, billing address and credit card number. Due to budget constraints we do not have a secure site so be sure to check your credit card bill and credit reports regularly if you pay with a credit card since anyone in the world can see your information. (due to technical problems you may have to slide this table sideways to read it).

Fall 2007 Garbin Moraine Pledge Levels

Pledge LevelDonation
Family$30Our sincere thanks
Our regular thanks

King Tut's Cronies


Five free drinks in the

King Tut Bar

(instead of having to bring your


Twisted Turners
One free imperfect bowl

Moraine Matrons

(a special class for women)


One imperfect bowl, two free days

stay at the Garbin Moraine Manor B &B

(all food and drinks free)

Garbin Gigolo$500
(call for details since this is a family site)
Garbin Moraine Special Friend
none (if you can afford this much you don't need any premiums)

Monday, October 22, 2007

Premiums for the upcoming pledge drive

Stay tuned. We have new membership categories this year. These are only a sample of the premiums for the drive this fall.

Sunday, October 21, 2007


It has been so cloudy lately there has been nothing to take pictures of to put in this blog. 'sorry if you are using this blog to enrich your life. Perhaps you could apply for a government program to make yourself happy.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

New life enrichment experience

You can order a college course on CD and listen to it out in the country to feel like you are more intellectual than bumpkin. Then if you have a blog you can pontificate on the blog about your intellectualism. Unlike a classroom where people might find what you say to be stupid if you have a blog like this one that nobody ever reads you can babble on to your heart's content and nobody will ever say you are stupid (note: 'hfec' is an exception to this rule but he is posting here because he knows nobody else reads these posts).

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Cabin Status

Cabin is covered with insulation.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Happy Halloween

The Wica witch of the West Wing? On the other hand flying brooms does not make a large carbon footprint so she may be leading by example which leaders are supposed to do.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

More proof of global warming

For the last two years we have been in a drought caused by global warming. Recently we have been getting day after day of rain also caused by global warming. The poor lilacs are so confused about what to make of it all they have started blooming in October. Are these late 2007 flowers or early 2008 flowers?

Saturday, October 06, 2007

A country welcome to new viewers

Philosopher's question: Why are you here? Please leave a comment and tell us why any normal person would visit this blog. Thank you. TWW

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Recycling provides viewing opportunity

To help save the planet we ordered some recycled concrete for the driveway turnaround instead of some petroleum-based product. When the truck spread the recycled concrete (we had to finish spreading by hand) the stuff was brown but as it dried out it got concrete-colored. The recycled concrete provided viewing opportunities watching it dry out as well as exercise in spreading it with minimum carbon footprint.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


Since wooden bowls exemplify traditional values and this picture trashes a wooden bowl it has to be art.

Update on global warming part 2

The update on global warming research seen below is missing information. This is because the blogging software controlled by the liberals at Google would not allow TWW to add any text to the pictures. Here is the text:

photo 1 - The Columbia Ice Field has an interpretive center where this photo was taken. The glacier was formed during the Wisconsin Ice Age. This occurred when the early people who lived in Wisconsin needed ice to cool their beer during the warm summers so somehow managed to start an ice age named in their honor. The techniques they used have been lost in history. We assume they lost control of their weather manipulation attempts and caused the ice age.

photo 2 - Two centuries ago the glacier was larger than today. The glacier actually grew and then receded after the Wisconsin Ice Age ended. We assume this was caused by variations in the moose population and their flatulence.

photo 3 - When the TWWs were married in 1982 the melting of the glacier speeded up for some unknown reason.

Update on our global warming research

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Secret Mission Pictures

Due to the confidential nature of this mission we could not show TWW's entire face.

City of Banff

From our location we could watch the locals for suspicious activity as well as see mountains in all directions.

The locals appear to think if you call trees aspen instead of popple it makes them pretty instead of weed trees (which they are).

Sulphur Mountain

A cable car gets you there.

View from the top.

A chipmunk trying to freeload off the tourists.

Lake Moraine

Past posts you fortunately may have missed

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Weather at the cabin

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