Norskalabash bowl filled with lefsa

Returns

In spite of the fact the terms and conditions TWW Enterprises uses are clearly stated on this site some people return items for the flimsiest of excuses. These bowls/vases were returned by a 91 year old Swede who was horrified to learn they were made of Norway Pine. 

The future holds a Swedish Calabash Bowl

Due to customer demand TWW Enterprises has started to develop Swedish Calabash Bowls. They will be available late next summer. Order now if you want a unique holiday present for the dumb Swedes you know. 

When TWW looks at a tree he sees bowls trapped inside awaiting release

Or as some Italian guy named Michelangelo said way back when “In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”

Needless to say TWW can only dream of being an artist and should stick to making firewood from trees and not art. 

Shipping department

Bowls, inserts and USPS boxes awaiting action. After the IPO we may have better facilities. 

Factory second plumber's bowl available at a discount

This unsigned bowl was meant to be a Norwegian calabash bowl but became a plumber's bowl showing its crack. The picture was taken before applying walnut oil which gives this birch a nice golden hue (whatever that means)

Unbagged rough bowls ready to finish

Revised Norskalabash Bowl Laminated Insert (Text only)

Warning: If you have  too many years of college majoring in subjects that make one look down on  the uneducated   people who live in the country you will not enjoy reading this story.  It  may cause acute anxiety,  anger or anorexia.

The Norwegian Calabash Bowl Legend

As the tale goes last century there were two former Norwegian bachelor farmers named Ole Oleoson and Sven Tollerud living near Ormsby, Minnesota who got married and had wives who both wanted to go to Hawaii together one Winter. Being good Norwegian-descended husbands the guys relented and tried to make light of the situation saying they probably couldn't catch bullheads through the ice anyway.

While in Hawaii the wives dragged the guys to a souvenir shop. The guys soon tired of seeing things like signs saying “Hawaii you?” and other touristy slogans and wandered aimlessly in the store to see if they could find something that said “I'd rather be ice fishing”. After a while they came upon a display of native (well at least the sign said that) bowls called calabash bowls. The sign also said the wooden bowls were made from an erotic Pacific tree shaped to look like the top of a calabash gourd.

(image of a tree appears here)

Ole said to Sven “I'll bet I could make dose funny lookin wobbly bowls out of Norwegian vude on my vude lade and ve could sell dem to da tourists who visit Ormsby. Dey will buy anything”. So when they got back to Minnesota Ole started turning out calabash bowls from trees like those found in Norway like birch, aspen and maple (with a little oak and aspen thrown in to catch the rich tourists). The rest is history.

The Warped Woodturner continues this tradition with his Wisconsin version of Norwegian calabash bowls made especially for the tourists since he knows they will buy anything grown or made in Wisconsin. He also rebranded the Norwegian calabash bowls as Norskalabash bowls to increase market share for the Millennials since they will buy or vote for anything that sequesters carbon. 

Product Warning: It is OK to put lefsa in these bowls but putting lutefisk in these bowls could spoil the finish.

The Artist

The Warped Woodturner (TWW) is a local artist traveling his artist's journey in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop. 536). TWW's creative calling is to use a wood lathe to make useless objects from locally-sequestered carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but do not like that much. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well. His marketing jingle is: “Bowls as simple as their creator”. Visit him at http://warpedwoodturner.blogspot.com/

Copyright notice: None (who in their right mind would want to copyright something like this?)

Current version (less images) of Norwegian Calabash Bowl Legend

(November 4, 2018)

A laminated version is included with each Norskalabash bowl free of charge

Warning: If you have too many years of college majoring in subjects that make one look down on the uneducated people who live in the country you will not enjoy reading this story. It may cause acute anxiety, anger or anorexia. The Norwegian Calabash Bowl Legend As the tale goes last century there were two former Norwegian bachelor farmers named Ole Oleoson and Sven Tollerud living near Ormsby, Minnesota who got married and had wives who both wanted to go to Hawaii together one Winter. Being good Norwegian-descended husbands the guys relented and tried to make light of the situation saying they probably couldn't catch bullheads through the ice anyway. While in Hawaii the wives dragged the guys to a souvenir shop. The guys soon tired of seeing things like signs saying “Hawaii you?” and other touristy slogans and wandered aimlessly in the store to see if they could find something that said “I'd rather be ice fishing”. After a while they came upon a display of native (well at least the sign said that) bowls called calabash bowls. The sign also said the wooden bowls were made from an erotic Pacific tree shaped to look like the top of a calabash gourd. Ole said to Sven “I'll bet I could make dose funny lookin wobbly bowls out of Norwegian vude on my vude lade and ve could sell dem to da tourists who visit Ormsby. Dey will buy anything”. So when they got back to Minnesota Ole started turning out calabash bowls from trees like those found in Norway like birch, aspen and maple (with a little oak and aspen thrown in to catch the rich tourists). The rest is history. The Warped Woodturner continues this tradition with his Wisconsin version of Norwegian calabash bowls made especially for the tourists since he knows they will buy anything grown or made in Wisconsin. Product Warning: It is OK to put lefsa in these bowls but putting lutefisk in these bowls could spoil the finish. The Artist The Warped Woodturner (TWW) is a local artist traveling his artist's journey in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop. 536). TWW's creative calling is to use a wood lathe to make useless objects from locally-sequestered carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but do not like that much. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well. His marketing jingle is: “Bowls as simple as their creator”. Copyright notice: None (who in their right mind would want to copyright something like this?)

Rebranding

The Norwegian calabash bowl product line has been discontinued due to lack of interest.  It has been replaced by the new, improved Norskalabash bowl line.  The first versions of the new product are coming off the production line in late November. Stay tuned.

The Phoenix is arising from the ashes

Stay tuned

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Old blog entries below.......same address different usage.

Right to travel colliding with the right to free speech

Floating around the net

Since the Grchump stole Christmas from the people who don't belive in it

and of course with the help of the commies, then how come Hillary won the popular vote? The answer is it was the dead white men who founded the country and set up the electoral college who did it not the peace-loving anti-capitalist progressive socialists in Russia. 

Mrs TWW's new Algore Frig.

Frig section of the new Algore Frig

Freezer section of the Algore Frig freezing a batch of chili

Ready for recycling to save the planet

The former home of the energy hog refrigerator is going to become a fake wall with a gun safe in back of it.  Since TWW does not have enough guns to fill a gun safe he is hoping for some crowd source donations (there is a DONATE button on this blog) to help him get ready for the Revolution that will begin as soon as Donnie the Demagogue gets crowned in January. Time is running out so donate soon. Thank you and have a Happy Holiday according to your own beliefs and traditions and whatever PC BS you care to believe in.

Mrs TWW gets her scrawny Christmas tree for 2016

Looks like the base needs some work

Relatives to the rescue

Fortunately the relatives bailed out TWW since this was his attempt to grow a Christmas flower for MRs. TWW to save money.  

As the Russians were hacking America America was ...

http://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2016/12/16/flashback-that-time-the-obama-administration-spent-hundreds-of-thousands-of-dollars-to-defeat-benjamin-netanyahu-n2260711

more holiday cheer

Great holiday song for your friends on the left

Show them you care.