The Warped Woodturner (TWW) is a local artist traveling his artist's journey in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop. 536). TWW's creative calling is to use a wood lathe to make useless objects from locally-sequestered organic carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but do not like that much. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well. His marketing jingle is: “Bowls as simple as their creator”.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Press Release

For immediate release: On December 10th, 2007 TWW Enterprises issued the following statement:

"At TWW Enterprises we take quality and health issues seriously. Rest assured we do NOT use any lead paints on our bowls and children are in no way in danger from our bowls. (please note: TWW Enterprises takes no responsibility for what customers put in their bowls). So remember at TWW Enterprises all of our bowls are made by white European craftsman from wood taken from land ceded by the Native Americans, using only sustainable forestry practices and then handcrafted using only quality Chinese tools. When properly cared for and not burned our bowls will act as carbon sinks for centuries."
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