Another crackpot letter to the editor in the works

Editor: 

Climate scientists talk about albedo as the ratio of reflected radiation from a surface compared to radiation hitting it. It is measured on a scale from zero for no reflection of a perfectly black surface to 1 for perfect reflection of a white surface. This means white snow sends most light back towards space and dark snow absorbs light and heats up so it melts quicker. Yellow snow is somewhere in between. Last year during the Birkie the climate change people were fretting about the end of winter. This year we all are fretting. So how can we help end winter? We need to learn from the celebrities and their ideas about saving the planet. First, temporarily stop recycling dark objects. Put them in your yard on the snow to turn sunlight into heat. Next, take snow off your roof so bare shingles absorb the light and generate heat to melt the other snow on the roof. Also, spread the ashes from your wood stove on the snow to make black snow. Finally, collect dog, deer and rabbit waste (use caution here) and put it on the snow in your yard. Space prevents listing more ideas here. Think like a celebrity and use your your creativity to collect heat and melt the snow. The longer you have white snow the longer it will stay cold. We can end winter if we work together.