TWW is The Warped Woodturner who is a local artist living in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop 87). His mission is to use a wood lathe to make interesting but mostly useless objects from locally-sequestered carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but don't like that well. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

No more illegal wine at the cabin

Latest review of tis blog

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Only 8 more MAMA bowls to go": 

He would be really curious to know how this is possible. If your website content is of poor quality, doesn't make sense or if it is written in poor English, it will be sent into the trashcan. You can get grasses that grow very tall and you can get others that do not grow very high. [URL= ]reviewer[/URL] However due to a certain astronomical phenomenon, called the precession of the equinoxes, this is no longer the case. Overall the video game reviews for Assassin's Creed Revelations have been fairly high. 

Posted by Anonymous to The Warped Woodturner at 8:08 PM

Friday, January 27, 2012

Barkless natural edge oak firewood bowl

This odd-shaped bowl was hard to get a good picture of.  The flattened edges are the outside of the now deceased oak tree.  The bowls are made by turning the chunk of wood upside down on the lathe when starting out. 

Thursday, January 26, 2012

The new Silent Majority?

After hearing the whining from the people who did not get what they wanted in the last election for governor in Cheeseheadland you would think the zillions of recall signatures meant curtains for Der Fuhrerwalkermeister.  Now the first poll of voters since the recall petition drive ended (an aside -  they went from 500,000 signatures to over a million in a few weeks so who knows what that means -- a mild winter?) has some interesting results shown below. What does the poll mean? About as much as all the noise made by the petition gatherers. TWW thanks them for heating up the air by being outside which caused milder weather to some degree or was that from AGW?  Anyway, here are the quotes:

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Geoelectricmagnet storm causes light show of the century at GM

They said to go outside and look up but it was too cold out so TWW just looked up and saw the light from his office. 

Monday, January 23, 2012

A little action on Garbin Moraine as another storm of the century hits

These action photos were taken with the sport setting on the digital camera manufactured by a bankrupt company. 

The answer for the Republicans

Here are some pictures of Newt and a newt  (you go look so they cannot shut this site down for copyright problems). 

The GOP people have three problems: Obama, Obamney and Newt.  The simplest way for the Republicans to handle this and get rid of the Obama and Newt problems since they are really the same problem since erratic Newt won't beat the detached, rational Obama is to have Obamney offer Newt a new cabinet post called 'Court Jester'.   This way the people could be entertained and the country can start getting back on the right track with the rich getting richer and the middle class disappearing and the entitlement class (full disclosure -- TWW is on the dole) continuing to grow until the revolution comes. 

Sunday, January 22, 2012


"Subculture of Americans prepares for civilization's collapse.....Tegeler is among a growing subculture of Americans who refer to themselves informally as "preppers." Some are driven by a fear of imminent societal collapse, others are worried about terrorism, and many have a vague concern that an escalating series of natural disasters is leading to some type of environmental cataclysm."

TWW's Soapbox:  TWW was a student of the survivalist movement in the late 1970s during Carter and thought the end was near.  But then Reagan was elected and the movement mostly died out except for the right wing kooks who live in the country.  Now President BO is in charge and more people are planning for the end again.  We need another Reagan to raise people's spirits but the unions are trying to get rid of the Reagan-like governor in Wisconsin and at the national level we have Newt.  If he gets elected watch all of the anti-gun liberals buy guns and freeze-dried food and create fortresses in the city to prepare for the end and join the movement. Come to think of it if Newt is elected TWW will start stocking up too. 

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Thing don't look good for der Fuhrer if this is his song

A bowl day finally

Mrs. Anonymous gave TWW permission to work in the garage today so this is what he made. It was so cold in the garage that the liquid with alcohol in it he sprays on his face mask to keep the fog out had frozen. (bowl is about 8" by 2" and red or white oak TWW thinks)

Friday, January 20, 2012

Wishing for global warming

TWW and Mrs. Anonymous are going up to Dulute today so are thankful for all the people who put CO2 into the air to warm things up. 

When it warms up TWW may have to clean up his thermometer. 

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Helping Fuhrer Walker keep his job

TWW has a great idea to help Scott Walker keep his job after a million people (both real and imaginary) signed petitions to fire him. LA's loss could be Wisconsin's gain if Walker plays his cards right.  Walker promised more jobs and there are lots college grads in liberal arts looking for jobs. 

Here is the news story:   

"Porn industry mulls leaving LA if condoms requiredEmail

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Mirror mirror on the wall .....

For life enrichment (for Mrs. Anonymous) TWW went to the 'cities and stayed in a motel on Friday night.   To explore future life enrichment opportunities TWW checked out the exercise room in the motel.  While he was looking over the equipment he realized there was an old man standing about eight feet to his left and he started to say something to the old man about not realizing he was there and then realized he was looking at himself in a floor to ceiling mirror the length of the wall.  More life unenrichment it seems. Things go better in the country since there aren't many mirrors there.  

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

A great Valentine's Day present for the woman in your life

It also is great for women who want to surprise men who get fresh with them. 

Another silly attempt to get guns off the street

TWW put this sign into his bathroom so if any visitor is packing heat she will have a problem since she cannot come out of the bathroom with the weapon. TWW will collect all weapons he finds left behind and donate them to places that melt them all down and make modern art sculptures that nobody can understand.  Here is a link to one of those sculptures:

Monday, January 09, 2012

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Pick of the litter

Mr. and Mrs. BANANA get this bowl as a premium for donating a cherry log to Garbin Moraine Foundation. (about 8"" wide and 3" tall).

Friday, January 06, 2012

First day of Spring

Solar collector has a problem since the only place TWW could put it is in the shade.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

"Where the Fakawee?"

On January first at the family cabin an anonymous party-goer (we will call her APG) claimed to have an ancestor who bought his wife from the Fakawee tribe of native Americans.  Upon hearing this one of the relatives blurted out  "Where the Fakawee?"  and it was the quote of the night.  TWW thought this topic was worth some research so did some searches and concluded either APG was pulling off a scam on the family in reveange for the bad treatment she was receiving or else she was a victim of the Wienerschnitzel syndrome as was TWW.  

TWW discovered he had the Wienerschnitzel syndrome the first time he ordered Wienerschnitzel in Europe and a breaded piece of white meat. He was expecting cut up wieners like his dad made for his kids when the mother did not want to cook.  TWW talked to his father about theWienerschnitzel and learned that his grandmother from Berlin took wieners and cut up (schnitzen) the wieners and called them Wienerschnitzel.  It either was a trick on her kids or just a way of handling the fact the family was poor.

Now has APG been a fellow victim of the Wienerschnitzel syndrome or was she pulling a fast one on the family?  In the family you are guilty until proven innocent and people are already plotting revenge for next New Years and wishing APG a paranoid 2012 as she looks for for January 1st, 2013. 

Internet Evidence

Quote 1:
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Maybe I should tap into my roots, too. My grandmother was half Indian. 
Christopher Moltisanti: Get the fuck out of here. 
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: No, it's true. She was in the Fakawee tribe. 
Christopher Moltisanti: Oh, yeah? 
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Yeah. When they used to get lost in the woods, they stopped and said "Where the Fakawee?" 

Quote 2:

"Fakawi Tribe,for real?
Good morning everyone! Not that there's alot who already knows about my site.Anyways, as I woke up checking my email and sipping my coffee while my son is snoring, (21months old chunky boy,snoring!) I tried to check and browse on my URL, and to my surprise, there is really a FAKAWI TRIBE (Mine is spelled fukawi though and this are not a historic tribe or whatsoever,we both derive it from an englishman joke!). It was derived from my former British boss' joke. Fukawi tribe (fuck-are-we),tribe of small people who always get lost in the forest as they go hunt for their food. (They always chant the words, "we're the fukawi?" "we're the fukawi?" as they find their way out of the forest). It's funny if you've heard it the first time and if the one who's saying it is really good. Oh well,going back, the only reason I chose that URL name,it's because in my opinion,we always get lost in this world (so we sometimes say,"where the fuck are we?" "where are we going?" "what's gonna happen?"),sometimes clueless but since we are Filipinos we always find our way out amidst all the challenges in life. (Kasi mapamaraan or madiskarte tayo!) So to sum this up, I am not trying to dawg anyone or play games,my respect are with you,Fakawi Tribe of Malaysia, for whatever endeavors you all have.In case you go about my site,don't go flippin' about the name I used(actually there's alot of us,there's just i think me who used it in a scholarly way,hahaha!),I already explain why it was like that.(Am i feeling guilty?Why should I?There's no reason,lol! I think it's just the coffee aftermath...)Ciao!"

Quote 3:
"Description:A band of Pigmy-like Lagnianppe renegade Native Americans searching for the bridge thru the five foot tall Sawgrass along the Wolfe River."

Sunday, January 01, 2012

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