TWW is The Warped Woodturner who is a local artist living in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop 87). His mission is to use a wood lathe to make interesting but mostly useless objects from locally-sequestered carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but don't like that well. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

TWW Rants Again

After getting numerous calls from the Outreach Association and failing to block them with *60 on our country phone, TWW answered and told them 'Good Bye' but they then called to ask for Mrs TWW. She anwsered and learned it was Habitat for Humanity that was behind the nuisance calls. Building houses for the 'deserving poor' sounds like a worthwhile cause but supporting telemarketing is not. So what to do? Interestingly enough the local branches of Habitat will gladly accept donations so that is our next step. That way the money goes to what it is intended for. See this link: It says "According to the financial information shown at left, 60% of the contributions raised by this organization were returned to or retained by the charity client(s)."

Even TWW is good enough at arithmetic to know that means nearly half of what you donate to a charity when these people calls goes to the telemarketing company. Definitely time to donate locally.

Outing of a deviant smoke detector

After hiding in the ceiling rather than the closet for several years (See link to discovery of deviant detector) this smoke detector has finally been outed so anyone can see it. It also has been added to the Detector Predator Registry.

This marks the last day of gloomy January where there is nothing to do up in the woods. Tomorrow is the beginning of gray February.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Message for liberals and environmentalists

OSB (and we are not talking about pseudo-plywood here) wants you on his side. He wants you to to join his cause against the US. This should be an easy sell.

"CAIRO (AP) - Al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden has called in a new audiotape for the world to boycott American goods and the U.S. dollar, blaming the United States and other industrialized countries for global warming."

Soon we will see TV news showing Al Gore meeting with OSB in rural Pakistan. Gore will be heard congratulating OSB on his small carbon footprint and saying how Americans should use OSB (not the plywood) as a role model.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Bulging Bowl Bottom Breakthrough

As a life enrichment experience TWW (the human not the bogus company) decided to do some bowls with the center of the tree in the center of the bowl as Nature intended. He made the bowl below and Mrs. TWW (the woman not the bogus company) loved it.

About two weeks later after proudly displaying the bowl in the great room of Garbin Moraine Manor Mrs TWW (the woman not the bogus company) tearfully complained to TWW (the human not the bogus company) her bowl was wobbling even though the ground was not shaking.

TWW (the human not the company) picked up the bowl and found the bottom was bulging in the center. The wood had warped in an unwanted direction. TWW (the human not the bogus company) took the bowl out to the TWW (the bogus company) workshop and used a belt sander to sand the bottom flat again. The result was a flat-bottomed nonwobbling bowl with a small drain hole in the middle.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Happy Birthday Mary

myspace codes

Say "Hi" to Helen, Judy and Nancy on Saturday

We report; you decide

Does the image match reality? Which one did you vote for?


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Reuse, Recycle or Rot It

In the spirit of saving the planet by means of carbon sequestration through rotation and reusing and recycling, TWW was able to salvage a purposeless (meaning it is art) bowl from the factory reject shelf. TWW wants to thank the consultant from Q & D Construction for the tip on getting rotating sandpaper which salvaged the bowl that was previously wetsanded but either not wet or sanded enough.

End near - and you can watch it end on your computer

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Monday, January 25, 2010

A wastebasket for Mrs. TWW

Mrs. TWW requested a custom wastebasket. The smelly slipper in the bottom picture is to put the size in context since TWW's foot is a foot long.

TWW came back from a trip south only to find they are lying to us again

"Glacier scientist: I knew data hadn't been verified

Last updated at 12:54 AM on 24th January 2010

The scientist behind the bogus claim in a Nobel Prize-winning UN report that Himalayan glaciers will have melted by 2035 last night admitted it was included purely to put political pressure on world leaders.

Dr Murari Lal also said he was well aware the statement, in the 2007 report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), did not rest on peer-reviewed scientific research."

Read more:

Thursday, January 21, 2010

New bowl accessory

Hundreds of people who have purchased bottomless bowls have found the joke only lasts so long (with a bottomless bowl you fill it with candy and have some unsuspecting sucker pick it up and watch the bottom fall out so to speak). TWW Enterprises listens to its customers and the result is a new accessory. These bowl bottoms convert any bottomless bowl to a bowl that will hold stuff. While the bottoms will not allow the bottomless bowls to hold water or beer they help find new uses to an otherwise useless product. Next TWW is going to explore a product to use with Pet Rocks (a trademark).

The TRUTH: George Bush caused the earthquake in Hait just like he caused the hurricane in New Orleans

See the truth at this link: ||||||||||||||||||

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Quote of the day

“Climate doesn’t kill people. Weather does.”


Is somone from the family on the Olympic team??

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Pine bowl roughing - part 2

Here are 5 red pine natural bowls at the rough bowl stage with just the outsides rounded off.
These are the bowls you read about in Pine bowl roughing - part 1.

Here is a center-turned vase (not really a bowl mounted so the guts can be ripped out).

First it helps to drill a pilot home into the wood.

Next you rip the guts off. Here a scraper is reaming out the insides of the vase.

Here are all of the bowls (and one vase) with their guts ripped out.

You need to know when the bowl was made to sense how much water remains in the wood. So here you see the date written on the bottom of the bowls.

Here are the bowls wrapped in newspaper.

In three months TWW will make some lucky customers a bowl to donate to the Salvation Army store for a tax deduction.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Wifey bowl

Mrs. Tww grabbed this one for some reason before TWW had the chance to sell it on E-bay.

January 13th warmest day on record so far for a January

There is an interesting blog post at While people think just because they are freezing their bottoms off and the furnaces are running nonstop it must be cold out. Wrong. January 13th was the warmest for the planet in a January so far according to the scientists.

The post says: " Many people think that the globe must be terribly cold these days. We’ve seen huge cold snaps and snowfalls in Britain, Eastern parts of the U.S., Western Europe, Central Europe, China, Korea, and India where hundreds of people have frozen.

So these are almost all the important places, right? (At this moment, the speaker forgets that there are places such as Latin America, Australia or the Balkans which have been warm.) So the globe must be cool – cooler than average, people could think.

However, the daily UAH global mean temperature shows a different story. The early January 2010 was warm. And on January 13th, which is the latest day whose temperature is known, we have seen the warmest January day on their record. The brightness global temperature near the surface was T = -16.36 °C".

He goes on to say "the global mean temperature is irrelevant for you and for everyone else, too. It didn’t help the hundreds of frozen people in India, the passengers whose flights were canceled, and millions of other people in the European, Asian, and American civilization centers."

So once again there is more proof you cannot trust your common sense and need to defer to the experts to tell you what you should think. And the expert of all experts is our LEADER. See his uplifting quote below about how you will be overjoyed to begin paying higher electric bills if the clown in Massachesets does not steal the Senate seat and end the Era of Progress awaiting us under our LEADER's guidance.

link to source of quotes

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Quote of the day

“In addition to the global warming challenges, we need to address 'global cooling' effects and to do so promptly,” he said. This quote was from Russia's Prime Minister Vladimir Putin.

Nothing like trying to have it both ways.

Book report

Idiots like TWW paid full price someplace else for the book but the price is already down to $12.89 at This is about the best book on living in the country around.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I entered and all I got was this lousy blog

In his day job TWW has been pretending to be a webmaster and creating a web site for a local friends group. He recently tried to get the nearly-completed web site listed with Google. About the same time he got tired of the crummy looking bowl that used to be at the top of this site and replaced it with a WI DNR photo (if you are reading this blog after today TWW does not promise the picture will be there any longer).

Through the wonders of technology the software sniffers searching the Internet for something of value got it wrong. They missed the friends site ( which has lots of valuable information in it but instead found this blog. This blog is like a dirty little family secret nobody wants to talk about and now anyone in the world who searched for something warped or for wood or woodturning may find it. Nothing like having one's dirty laundry available all over the world. Anyway, TWW is going back to the drawing board so to speak in an attempt to rectify the situation.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

After four years of friends and relatives being the butt of the blog jokes, they are starting to wise up and get even using Facebook. In this picture TWW is caught conveniently catching up on his sleep instead of helping to bake cookies which he will later eat. This kind of freeloading is not a good example of practicng the principles of freeloading which he espouses. You are always supposed to make people think you are deserving but this picture shows otherwise.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

New prophet with great last name predicts new ice age

This link is to a meteorologist talking about the weather being like the years when the global warming people were predicting an ice age before the cult of Anthropogenic Global Warming arose with Prophet Al saying the end was near.'70s%20Ice%20Age%20Scare

Friday, January 08, 2010

TWW now understands -- yea right

Here is another reason TWW say the only thing that makes sense is shavings coming off of a turning piece of wood:

"January 5, 2010

Extreme negative phase of the Arctic Oscillation yields a warm Arctic

Arctic sea ice extent at end of December 2009 remained below normal, primarily in the Atlantic sector of the Arctic. Average air temperatures over the Arctic Ocean were much higher than normal for the month, reflecting unusual atmospheric conditions. Finally, we provide a review of 2009 Arctic sea ice conditions."

That quote is from:

What they seem to be saying is the actic is warming up while the rest of us freeze our back sides off (see post from December 31st, 2009 for a picture of freezing back sides)

What are they saying?

Whether you are up at the cabin, down in southern MN or even more down in Texas when the younger generation comes along with their little keyboards and screens they are carrying out a conspiricy against the oldsters by talking in a secret language. Through the magic of technology we have been able to find some of the meanings of their secret language. Below that is a link to a site that has a translator so if you can find out one of the secret words the site will translate it into English.

Common abbreviations

Word or phraseAbbreviation(s)
At the momentatm
Be right backbrb
By the waybtw
Got to gog2g or gtg
I don't knowidk
Just kiddingjk
Laugh out loud / lots of lovelol
Oh my god / oh my goshomg
Talk to you laterttyl or t2yl

There is also a translator you can find at: translator link This translator appears to work but it is hard to believe the F-word does not have an equivalent in their secret language since they use it so often.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Where it all began

An important milestone for this blog has passed by just like a gall stone would. This blog is now over four years old. A link to the original entry is found below from December 21st of 2005. It is amazing how time passes with nothing to show for it if you spend time reading blogs.

Senior citizens would burn Al Gore's book if they could find it


More of the odd things about how the climate has changed and winters are now colder.
And worse yet a denier has said the temps have not gone up in the last 11 years or so.

"While the large amount of year-to-year variability in global temperatures seen in the above plot makes it difficult to provide meaningful statements about long-term temperature trends in the context of global warming, the running 25-month average suggests there has been no net warming in the last 11 years or so." see:

In search of the truth of global waming

TWW conned his wife into taking a trip up north to find a warmer climate by the BIG Lake. He had heard the scientists saying the lake was warming up so hoped to find some warmth.

The next morning MRs. TWW slept in while TWW went exploring in the cold by the motel window (it was too cold to go outside)

To his amazement the first thing he saw was the remnants of a home for abused husbands from the last century. This building is right out in the lake but that may just mean global warming has caused the lake level to rise since it melted Greenland.

Here is the unfrozen lake so it must be warmer up here than on Garbin Moraine but not by much.

The sun started coming up but it was still cold up there so he gave up and decided to return home.

Here again is TWW's contribution to the rising level of CO2 in the air but it is warmer than up in Duluth.

Saturday, January 02, 2010

T Minus 26 and counting

The global warming protest we were planning on holding today has been cancelled.

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