The Warped Woodturner (TWW) is a local artist traveling his artist's journey in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop. 536). TWW's creative calling is to use a wood lathe to make useless objects from locally-sequestered organic carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but do not like that much. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well. His marketing jingle is: “Bowls as simple as their creator”.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Pizza run

Mr. BANANA stopped up and asked if TWW would like to go into town and pick up 'a few things' so TWW decided it must be a life enrichment experience in the making and agreed to come with. Little did he know town was the Mpls Airport and Mr. BANANA needed help finding MLA who was coming up from Denver at 1830Z..


Driving south they passed through Cumberland which reminded Mr. BANANA he needed to stop there on the way home for 'a few things'.


At Baldwin they turned West even though the sign said East and headed towards the airport.


They got near the airport just in the nick of time (or so they thought) since there goes MLA's aircraft on final approach but TWW was navigating and had gotten them in the wrong lane so they had to go around.

After turning around TWW relied on his air force experience with target intelligence to get Mr. BANANA to the target. There was a slight problem when TWW realized he had given Mr. BANANA a vector to get to the Humphery (charter) terminal instead of the terminal where the regular flights land so he told Mr. BANANA to abort and started given him different headings.



Mr. BANANA saw a Holiday Inn van and decided to follow the van since he figured the van driver knew more about where he was going than TWW.


Mr. BANANA sent TWW in to find the target since he did not trust TWW to sit in the truck by himself (he figured he would get lost again). TWW found the bathroom and then found MLA who appeared glad to see him but not for long.

After Mr. BANANA made her sit in the back seat she started to pout. MR. BANANA was used to dealing with his pouting sisters so he decided to cheer MLA up by asking her if she wanted to go to Fleet Farm to look for shoes. All of a sudden she was happy again.


North of Baldwin Mr. BANANA decided he need to stop 'for a few things'.
TWW meanwhile watched the rain fall wondering how he ever got suckered into this trip.

Almost to the pizza place but Mr. BANANA decided he need to stop 'for a few things'.
Finally at the pizza place. TWW did not realize MLA and Mr. BANANA had colluded to make TWW pay for the pizzas. They sent him in alone with the excuse they were short of money after buying 'a few things' so many times and there were no ATMS close.

The end.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Paul Mc Cartny weighs in

TWW is currently in a creative trough so here is your thought for the week from a Beatle:

"I feel privileged to have hung out and worked with Michael. He was a massively talented boy man with a gentle soul.

TWW has heard of ladies men but never boy men. Have you?

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Baby deer; bad beer


The fawn has been hanging around the porch looking for free handouts. The beer is fertilizing the grass above the septic. Note to relatives: TWW is sorry for not brewing the retirement beer soon enough. An order with more ingredients is on the way for the next try on his nickel to make up for his mistake. TWW thinks he overkilled with bleach used to clean out the water containers used to bring water up from the cabin (GM water is soft since it is softened and will be used for the retirement pilsner kit once TWW can do ale right. Ale requires hard water but no iron in it).

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Plumber's ash tray

More uncooperative wood results in another plumber's bowl/wooden ash tray.






To forget about his cracks and for life enrichment TWW and Mr. BANANA are going to a wood pellet tour today. The plant is like the one in this viedeo:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5902182363142348090

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Two new bowls for sale

TWW Enterprises has two new bowls for sale. One is a candy bowl and the other is a new artistic creation. The candy bowl shown first should serve you well at the cabin and costs only $7.50 plus shipping and handling. The second bowl is a work of art meant for the collection of discerning individuals of fine wood art and costs $75.00 plus shipping and handling. These will go quick so order soon.

Here is the candy bowl.

This is the collector's bowl.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

For life enrichment visit the BANANAs





Quote for the day

"it is interesting that the modern belief that our carbon emissions have caused the climate system to rebel are not that different from ancient civilizations that made sacrifices to the gods of nature in their attempts to get nature to cooperate. Technology might have changed over time, but it seems human nature has remained the same." - Roy Spencer

Go take a walk


















Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Something stinks in BhO land?


See this article (it is also the source of the picture above): http://gawker.com/5292275/will-obamas-firing-of-an-inspector-general-evolve-into-a-major-scandal Will BHO become BO again if the major media actually reports much on it or will BHO be shown correct as the major media tries to destroy this former IG the way they tried to get Joe the Plumber?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Another quality job by Q & D Construction and Air Conditioning

Mrs. TWW finally got her roof-mounted air conditioner in the one season porch. Q & D even let TWW come up on the roof instead of sit in the truck as long as he promised he would not try to help.










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