TWW is The Warped Woodturner who is a local artist living in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop 87). His mission is to use a wood lathe to make interesting but mostly useless objects from locally-sequestered carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but don't like that well. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Head of GM gone

Whose neck next? TWW has decided to withdraw his request for bail-out money for starving artists. He does not have the bowls to put up with all the restrictions the government help means.

(source of pic is unknown)

Sunday, March 29, 2009

New bowl series - Plumber's Bowls

Below are two bowls from the new Plumber's Bowl series. Each bowl is guaranteed to come with a visible crack. Once again, when TWW finds a defect he tries make it a feature as the engineers say.

Oak plumber's bowl seen above and cherry plumber's bowl below. Cracks follow.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

TWW from three points of view

  • When you see TWW it has height and width (in other words it is in one plane)
  • Flip the plane 90 degrees around a vertical line and you only see | (the TWW seen from the side - it is only one line thick)
  • Flip the plane another 90 degrees and you see WWT (since WWT also means the Warped Wood Turner it means regardless how you look at TWW from the front or rear it is the same nonexistent person)
  • If you spend time in the city like TWW (also know as | or WWT) did this week your brain will start to malfunction too and this blog will no longer make you wonder about the blogger

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Still waiting for warming - is summer ever coming?

This is not good news if you are waiting for warming: " Two researchers at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee say natural forces in the Earth's climate have conspired to end a recent period of global warming, and they predict that temperatures will change little or drop over the next decade or more." source -

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Back to gray March

The only excitement up here is the scandal about the Ice Off contest.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Ice Off Contest judge resigns

Due to mounting accusations against the objectivity of the contest judge, Mrs TWW has tendered her resignation and the Garbin Moraine Foundation director accepted it. There were also unfounded rumors she has a nanny problem. When the ground thaws we will try to find one of Elmer's descendents and see if one of them will be the judge. Other than that not much happening on GM.(we should add Mrs TWW really quit so she could enter the contest because she wants the bowl)

Monday, March 23, 2009

The viewers have spoken

We recently had a focus group on this blog and one person showed up. The focus group thought this blog needed a contest so all 3.5 viewers could share in some of the life enrichment activities documented on the blog. When 28.57% of your audience wants something you'd better respond so TWW is having a life enrichment contest with a life enrichment prize. The glacier on Garbin Moraine melted far earlier than the experts predicted and Lake Garbin also exceeded predictions. So TWW decided to have a contest where mere amateurs could show up the experts by predicted the ice off date on the local lake.
Ice Off Contest
All you have to do is attach a comment to this entry with the date you think the ice will be gone. Be sure to include your moniker so we know where to send an e-mail with the grand prize attached. The contest closes on the day before the ice is gone. In case of a tie the prize (seen below) will be divided between winner (using a bandsaw). The decision of the judge (Mrs TWW) will be final. The winner (or winners) will be responsible for all taxes. Below are pictures of the lake and the grand prize. Good luck! (Note: only one entry per person)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Brookes Law Defied - 92.1% complete

Brookes Law says when you add staff to a project that is behind the project falls even more behind. Bringing Q & D Construction and Son recently seems to have defied Brookes Law since the project moved ahead.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Official Seal of the Office of Teleprompter

Remember when BO had the seal for the Office of the President Elect? Great Idea. Now his teleprompter has an official seal. TWW is working on a TWW official seal to paste on the bottom of his bowls. It would have more class the the pyrographic TWW he now uses.If you have any ideas be sure to send them along. (TWW thanks the Office of the Teleprompter for e-loaning us a copy of their new seal).

Friday, March 20, 2009

Tax Day Tea Parties are Coming

You can hear the song on YouTube at:

To read about what the radical right is conspiring about read:

Image e-borrowed from:

Happy Tax Day!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

BO's teleprompter now has a blog

New Bowls to Show Support

Two new oak Bowlbamas drying out before getting a coat of poly to show transparency. The bowls had earlier been treated with an ebonization solution made from nails and vinegar.The light spots are sapwood which must not have as many tannins in it as the heartwood does.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Former fugitive now back in MN - need a cookbook?

Link to Tea Party Story

See the rightwing protesters (or are they?) in action:

Politically Correct Green Dinner Yesterday

The green dinner held on St. Patrick's Day featured green enchilladas, green salad, green beans, green sherbet, and green marquiritas. To show we were not dissing the Irish we had some brown Irish beer made in St. Paul (where the Irish designed the street layout acording to Governor Ventura). The robins ate the cranberries outside the window this morning but did not attend the green dinner.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

New Reality TV Show Needed

While talking about the bonuses at AIG Senatoir Grassley (R-Iowa) said recently on the radio “The first thing that would make me feel a little bit better towards them if they’d follow the Japanese model and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say I’m sorry, and then either do one of two things — resign, or go commit suicide.”

This quote hopefully won't be lost on the TV network executives who can have a new hit TV reality show called French Revolution - American Style where CEOs who lose the contests lose their heads instead of their bonuses. Given the mood of the country this show should be a big success.

(Source of photo is a broken link so we cannot tell where it was found).

Monday, March 16, 2009

Brown March continues

Above the maple syrup is starting to run. Below Lake Garbin is receiving water from the melting Garbin Glacier. Scientists predict it will all be melted by June.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Brown March Begins

Not much happening as the search for life enrichment activities continues.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Doesn't TWW have anything better to do?

President BO says people should not put their money in their mattresses, so TWW decided to take the bowls out from the mattress in the guest bedroom as well. It should lead to fewer guests complaining about not getting a good night's sleep. Perhaps this explains why nobody is coming to stay any more.

Friday, March 13, 2009

New Rightwing Bumper Sticker

source of the image in case you want to have the government know you are visiting rightwing web sites:

Cute cat chased into tree by dogs

There was a story in the local paper about a poor hapless cute little cat chased into a tree by some mean dogs. This happened about 20 or so miles west and south of Garbin Moraine. This story may inspire a new line of bowls where what up until now have been defects called 'tool marks' may now be called claw marks in a new line of cat bowls. TWW also is stocking some dog-quality bowls that would work for dry dog food. Ask for details.

Link to original article (and source of the picture above until they take the pic down):

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The -12th of March

Well, that was what the radio said. It is really colder than that on GM. Bowling for spring is not helping.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Hope for the American Public?

"Increased Number Think Global Warming Is “Exaggerated”

Most believe global warming is happening, but urgency has stalled

by Lydia Saad

PRINCETON, NJ -- Although a majority of Americans believe the seriousness of global warming is either correctly portrayed in the news or underestimated, a record-high 41% now say it is exaggerated. This represents the highest level of public skepticism about mainstream reporting on global warming seen in more than a decade of Gallup polling on the subject."

See the entire article at:

TWW says: see the other post for today with the snow covering the ground reflecting the sun light so it does not heat the planet and just wait until summer when it will even warmer than tonight when it will be -10 F.

White March?

We need more diversity

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

350 steps to save the planet

The website has this great idea about how to save the planet. Simply do something 350 times and you can feel less guilty about breathing and putting CO2 into the precious atmosphere. (See for details).

October 24th is the big day for climate action but TWW decided to try something first to see if he felt better. He borrowed Mrs. TWW's green touring machine with no carbon footprint and did 350 steps on it yesterday. Even while emitting CO2 he still felt morally superior to all the people driving in the big SUVs. It felt so good he is planning a 350 social gathering on October 24th (if Mrs TWW lets him - nothing is perfect). One bottle of beer has 12 onces so 29 bottles of beer have 348 onces of beer. That means 2 onces from another bottle and you have 350 onces of beer. This means he needs to recruit eight or so people to help drink the beer so sign up. To reduce the carbon footprint of the gathering TWW plans on opening all the bottles of beer 3 days early and putting them back in the fridge so all the CO2 is out of the beer. That way people attending can have a 350 happening with no unnecessary CO2 released into the air.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Bowl Grading Process

You have probably heard about the college professors who take stacks of student papers and throw them down the stairs and then assign grades based on what stair a paper lands on. TWW has decided to adopt this method of grading his work. Only the best get TWW on the bottom.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Who is HFEC?

With only 3.5 active followers of this blog (and two are missing) it was time for some audience research. We started with the .5 follower who occasionally visits the blog and leaves comments signed 'HFEC' . We asked Google who HFEC was and learned HFEC means High-Frequency Eddy Current.

According to Wikipedia "The term eddy current comes from analogous currents seen in water when dragging an oar breadthwise: localised areas of turbulence known as eddies give rise to persistent vortices." High frequency eddy currents are used in designing airplanes. So from what we can tell a HFEC has to do with stress testing in aeronautical engineering so we assume HFEC has an engineering background. We searched for pictures of HFEC on the Web and found the picture above (we don't think the pictures has anything to do with body parts) so we assume he lives in California since the picture came from UCLA. (

Friday, March 06, 2009

Gray March ?

Maybe Mrs. TWW was right.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

From darkness to light

Natural edge maple Bowlbama

Bowlbama leading the other bowls from darkness into the light.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

The Algore Effect Again

"Frozen Out by Massive Snowfall

It was snowing irony in Washington on Monday when global warming activists descended on the District like a storm -- but got beaten to the punch by a blast of wintry weather that incapacitated the city.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Global warming activists stormed Washington Monday for what was billed as the nation's largest act of civil disobedience to fight climate change -- only to see the nation's capital virtually shut down by a major winter storm.


Tuesday, March 03, 2009

For life enrichment go north

The morning after.

The hallway
The room
The TV

The picture of where the TWWs were at did not turn out.

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