The Warped Woodturner (TWW) is a local artist traveling his artist's journey in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop. 536). TWW's creative calling is to use a wood lathe to make useless objects from locally-sequestered organic carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but do not like that much. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well. His marketing jingle is: “Bowls as simple as their creator”.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Another New Product Series Announced


TWW Enterprises is pleased to announce an addition to its product line. Current products include the Boring Bowl series (finished with mineral oil to be safe for food) and the Bottomless Bowl series. The new series of bowls were named by Mrs. TWW. Upon seeing the bowl shown above (8" x 3" aspen) she exclaimed "Yuk!". Mrs. TWW. does not like shiny bowls.

The Yuck! Bowl product line fills a market niche unmet by the existing two series of bowls. The new bowls have many uses. You can use them to keep unwanted guests from coming to stay. The VOCs in the shellac finish will outgas into salads and leave unwanted or freeloading guests feeling slightly sick. Once they realize every time they come to stay with you they feel sick, they will eventually stop returning.

Other uses include using the bowls to poison husbands and shortening the time you need to wait to inherit something from a will you are named in.

The bowls require minimum maintenance. All that is needed is a fresh coat of shellac every few months or shortly before unwanted guests arrive to refresh the VOCs.

The new series will be made in our new China room in our Garbin production facility. You can recognize them by looking for the Made in China Room label on the bottom.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hfec thinks maybe you could throw dem tings like one of those frizbees. or make up a game like the one where you got the golf balls on a rope and you throw em at a ladder like thing. keep working on the yuk bowls. practice makes perfect.

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