TWW is The Warped Woodturner who is a local artist living in a suburb of Springbrook, WI (pop 87). His mission is to use a wood lathe to make interesting but mostly useless objects from locally-sequestered carbon for tourists to bring back to the city to give to people they had to buy something for but don't like that well. His target market is the senior citizens since their vision is not as good as it used to be so cannot see the defects as well.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
TWW's orginal letter said: "city people taking unnecessary trips in their BIG SUVs ".
After editing for clarity the letter said: "city people taking unnecessary trips in their "big sport utility vehicles" SUVs ". That is what appeared in the paper version of the newspaper.
The printed version is usually supposed to also be found here: http://www.spooneradvocate.com/advocate/?section_id=60 (you will need to look through all the other opinions to find it).
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Thanks to the owners of the following link for loaning the image:
Viewers with animal rights issues may want to check out their great animal picture collection.
TWW wanted a cordless drill so he started out by cutting off the cord on an old-time electrical drill. When he went to the local Radio Shack they told him they did not sell batteries that would work with his drill. Does anyone have any idea what he should do next?
Friday, December 21, 2007
Thought for the day: Is there a consensus amongst the lemmings before they run off the cliff?
The TWW Enterprises annual customer appreciation sale will be held January 5th - January 19th at the main workshop discount store. All Signature Quality bowls will be priced with a 40% surcharge, all Signature Lined-Through class bowls will have a 25% surcharge and all Unmarked bowls will have a 10% surcharge. For example, a Signature Quality bowl normally priced at $20 will have an added surcharge of 40% x $20 = $8. The sale price will be $28 plus tax. TWW appreciates your loyalty
There is a consensus of TWW's customers that his prices are the best around and that in the future bad things will happen to you if you do not agree.
Customers: If you are not aware of the new TWW Enterprises Bowl Quality Rating Policy see: http://warpedwoodturner.blogspot.com/2007/12/new-tww-enterprises-quality-marking.html
Thursday, December 20, 2007
First picture shows the switchblade folded in the safe position.
This picture shows it ready for action.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
TWW Enterprises announces its quality bowl marking system. Bowl quality marks are now found on the bottom of each bowl TWW produces.
- If you find TWW on the bottom of a bowl it signifies a TWW Signature Quality Bowl. This means TWW says this bowl meets and exceeds (but not by too much) TWW's promise of producing the best imperfect bowls possible
- TWW (lined-through) means TWW originally thought this bowl met standards but on further examination found minor blemishes so withdrew the Signature Quality Bowl status awarded earlier. All previously owned bowls sold by TWW Enterprises automatically get this rating.
- A bare bowl bottom shows TWW does not want to call this bowl his own. These bowls are factory 4ths and sold as such.
Note: All TWW lined-through bowls are sold at 3rd-rate prices and all TWW signature bowls are sold at 2nd-rate prices.
"At TWW Enterprises we take quality and health issues seriously. Rest assured we do NOT use any lead paints on our bowls and children are in no way in danger from our bowls. (please note: TWW Enterprises takes no responsibility for what customers put in their bowls). So remember at TWW Enterprises all of our bowls are made by white European craftsman from wood taken from land ceded by the Native Americans, using only sustainable forestry practices and then handcrafted using only quality Chinese tools. When properly cared for and not burned our bowls will act as carbon sinks for centuries."
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
There is a hidden roll of stamps inside the cherry base. (Click on the pic to expand it). The real question is whether to put the paper clip in the center of the tree or the center of the wood. Which looks better? For this one we tried to use the center of the tree so it looks off of center.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Here is what it is like in Maui. They have a sun. For now we can dream and borrow pictures.
source of picture:
Monday, December 03, 2007
One of the original converts to the Eat More Breathe Less Method (EMBL) invented by Algore is Michael Moore. In his latest documentary, Fatso, Moore bravely takes on the diet and physical fitness industries for destroying the planet by convincing people they should not be personal carbon sinks (PCS). Diets and exercise contribute approximately 5% of the amount of CO2 released into the atmosphere each year in developed countries. The documentary will be available in 2008.
Source of picture: http://www.dba-oracle.com/images/fat_moore.jpg
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
ps. did you know that planting marijuana in your back yard helps take carbon out of the air? However, you can't smoke it. It must be eaten to become part of your personal carbon sink (PCS) if you want to prevent global warming. TWW assumes no responsibility for what you do with this information.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
The oak has interesting markings on it. It almost looks like an inlay but it is the way the wood came out of the tree.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
And as your mother said be sure to clean your plates. The new meaning to this is there will be less garbage in the landfills creating greenhouse gases as it decomposes. The CO2 will be in your fat cells instead of the fragile atmosphere. Happy holidays!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
The Eat More - Breathe Less Method (affectionately called 'embalm' in elite circles) lets people think globally while acting locally as they become PCSs by eating more and exercising less. This means a net storage of carbon instead of exhaling carbon into the air while exercising. EMBLM insures CO2 will not escape into the air of our fragile planet by insuring the PCSs are buried in a sealed casket. This is the same process as the planet used to store carbon in petroleum and coal for billions of years until western capitalism reversed the process to make obscene profits. The EMBLM method also helps with population control (hence will save Social Security) since it will drop life expectancies so people will not be around as long to pollute the planet. For more help with becoming a personal carbon sink visit: http://www.algore.org/
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
For a picture of this menacing problem see: http://warpedwoodturner.blogspot.com/2006/02/old-car-with-tree-growing-through-it.html
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Friday, November 09, 2007
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
In July TWW answered the Countryside magazine question of the month. Below is the answer. Your task is to figure out what the question was. The text below is what was sent to Countryside using a fake name instead of TWW and appears in the current issue. Creating this post was a test of the Google document feature and it appears the feature works.
Moving to the country means lots of decisions. You have needs to meet, make some assumptions about the world, have some values or criteria to judge options against and then stir all this into decisions. Our failures though small in moving to the country came from places where we were ignorant of our needs, assumptions or values. Decisions on how to use your resources of time and money to meet needs decides success or failure in moving to the country. Below is what we learned along the way.
Since full disclosure is in style I should mention we fit into the category of pensioner used in the book New Pioneers by Jeffrey Jacob. In his study based on a survey of Countryside readers about 18% of people living in the country were pensioners living on retirement income. While we are not 100 % pure homesteaders some of what you find below could still apply to your situation.
It’s best to learn how you meet your needs with your time and money while still in the city. To know where your time goes you need to record how you spend it.
Another part of time management is to make lists of what needs doing. Some things you do completely yourself but often you need supplies.
Keep track of how and where you meet your needs for supplies or services. Many of the needs will move to the country with you. Next is one way of you can begin compiling a list of needs.
Take a big piece of paper and draw a circle in the middle labeled ‘my homestead’. Next start listing everything you can remember that goes into your homestead (energy, food, water, etc). Put arrows on the items pointing into the circle. Also list everything you can remember coming out of the circle (wastes, etc) with arrows pointing out. In the country you will need to account for most of what goes in and out of your city homestead. This process helps identify needs you have.
People often assume their needs will be magically met by buying things until they get an unwelcome surprise. We got the latest edition of Countryside a few days after a bridge I had assumed safe to drive on numerous times before moving to the country from Minneapolis surprised people in an unfortunate way. Moving to the country has surprises when your assumptions don’t hold true.
To know where your money goes you also need to record how you use it. The starting point is to read Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominquez and Vicki Robin.
Finally, although this is not a pop psychology magazine, when you move to the country your mind comes with whether you like it or not. To better understand how your mind works, start doing morning pages. Julia Cameron in the Artist’s Way suggests people take three blank pages of paper and write longhand to dump their minds on paper when they get up in the morning. Doing that for a while will help you decide what you really want.
After you make the big move to the country keep recording how you spend your money. It is easy to lose control when you do something like build a house and buy items you end up not really needing.
Your list of items to do will be long after moving . Here is one simple thing to help keep you sane. Pay attention to your accomplishments. Get a diary book and record how you spend your time. I don’t mean recording how many seconds something takes. Rather, when you cross something off a list of tasks to complete write it in the diary book. The value of this is you then see how much you have accomplished rather than focusing on a nagging list of incomplete tasks.
Finally, here are a few things we learned the hard way because we assumed wrong:
1)The wind may blow differently than you expected. We had a garage and a privy on the land (Countryside Vol 80 #5) for about eight years but learned after we built a house on the land the wind came from the east and the south during the winter more than we ever thought possible and cooled the house. We planted most of the trees on the north side of the property. We had assumed wrong.
2)Darling little animals were a bigger nuisance than we expected. Tree shelters and wire fence cages around trees have helped us keep trees going.
3)Services and goods not available on your land mean you drive. Use your lists of needs to learn where you will meet your needs for medical, pharmacy, hair, or financial services and also types of goods you buy regularly to locate businesses early. We unwittingly split ourselves between two cities and it means extra driving .
4)Deciding where to put a sidewalk or LP tank changes where people can drive a big truck . Though it has not mattered yet, we discovered we do not have a way for a well repair truck to reach the well without moving the LP tank and cutting down some trees. Fortunately, we realized we had decided wrong before we had a crisis on our hands and hopefully have time to fix things.
Past posts you fortunately may have missed
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- Final holiday greeting for 2007
- Upside down bottomless bowl
- Every dog wants to be the last one to claim the hy...
- Happy Holiday Season to all Three Loyal Visitors
- Battery pack neeeded
- Which Global Warming Consensus to Believe?
- Post-Holiday Customer Appreciation Sale Pre-Announ...
- Early Christmas present
- New bowl line
- Another good picture of Mrs. Clinton
- New TWW Enterprises Quality Marking Policy
- Press Release
- Which center is in the middle?
- Lake Pictures
- Pictures from boring holiday newsletter
- NAFTA superhighway to bypass TWW's neighborhood
- Is there an ice age coming back?
- New Documentary from an EMBL Method Advocate
- For a life enriching experience
- Is the drought over??
- Winter comes early?
- holey virgin bowls
- Life Enrichment Opportunity
- Is this a trend??
- Another new product announced
- Time to blame global warming again
- Thanks for the Donation
- Only a few Thanksgiving pics (technical problems)
- Have a great Thanksgiving
- Latest EMBL Program convert
- Potential Headache
- EM-BL Method comes under attack
- TWW Thanks all the people who are working for a li...
- Free trees
- Winter Weenie Roast all set up
- film just back from the store
- The Eat More - Breathe Less Method
- Feral car found on Garbin Moraine
- Garbin Moraine cuts it CO2 footprint in half
- QSL Cards in the Time of the Internet
- Less cutting for a while
- Note to loyal viewers (all 3 of you)
- PETA supporters get the blame for this one
- Waiting for El Trucko
- Life enrichment ?
- Deer is only a little horny
- Global warming causes snow in November
- Silvaculture Day
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